Deadly Attraction
by leo-lehcarth
Summary: Slightly AU. What if Bella never met the Cullens in Forks? Instead, a series of events resulted in Alice and Bella getting to know each other? Femmeslash, Alice/Bella.
1. First Encounter

_A.N: This is my first attempt at writing a Twilight fic. Let me know what you think!_

_Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my fingers. Stephenie Meyer deserves all the credit for coming up with the amazing world of the Twilight series. All characters are fictional, and places mentioned that are not in the books are entirely fictional._

_Warning: Femmeslash, Alice/Bella_

_-AU, Bella had never really met the Cullens when in Forks. This is my story of how Alice and Bella met and how they got together._

_**_

**DEADLY ATTRACTION**

**APOV**

_Year 2009, July 1__st_

I am Alice Cullen, supposedly twenty-four years old, fashion designer for a well-known fashion corporation in Seattle. Living in a mansion with the rest of my adopted family, I have everything that I could ever possibly wanted, fame and fortune included. All except for one thing that I had never had.

Love.

For I, am a vampire.

I have lived for almost 110 years now, _108 _to be exact. After graduating from a high school in Forks, I have decided to pursue something of my own interest. For us, time meant nothing at all. We have all the time we want to go after different things we wanted, pick up different hobbies, while we take on different identities within our lifetime.

Fashion has always been my love and passion, and designing, one of my fortes. This was the reason for my chosen field. Though I may seem to be extremely young in this field, I have seen more than the oldest human on Earth. I know the different trends from a hundred years ago till now. Naturally, that would give one an edge when it comes to my line. Plus my extraordinary ability to see the future, it was not at all a surprise for me to rise up so fast in the ranks at such a "young" age.

Needless to say, I have gained fame and recognition for my work, though quite thankfully, not in the public eye. I'll be risking the exposure of my true identity and the revelation of the guarded secret of our kind, one of the gravest laws that a vampire could have break.

But I am not concerned about acquiring fame that much, for after another twenty years or so, I would have to disappear from this industry to avoid drawing suspicion to the fact that I, am not aging.

Like I have mentioned, I have everything that I could ever wanted, except for love. I used to have a relationship with a fellow vampire, Jasper, but it did not work out. He was just like a brother to me. Anyway, he was. We were both adopted by Carlisle and Esme Cullen, who took on the role of the "parents" in the Cullen family.

Actually, we are all vampires. But we are special, different from many others. We don't drink human blood, unlike the others. Instead, we go for the blood of animals like bears, mountain lions and deers. Though their blood may be less sweet and tasty as compared to human's blood, we would rather stick to it then to kill humans. Even though killing was in our nature, I still find it extremely barbaric to kill off humans when we can do less harm by killing animals. This was also why we decided to live right beside a dense and remote forest. We had jokingly referred to ourselves as "vegetarians" too, though logically speaking, we aren't, as animals are not considered plants, are they?

After the bunch of us, Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and _yours truly_ graduated from high school in Forks, we had moved to Seattle, on the pretence that Carlisle had gotten an attractive job offer from a famous hospital there. This was also to hide the fact that we were vampires from the people in Forks. It was getting pretty obvious, since Carlisle and Esme look much younger than they claimed to be.

I had taken to the road in my yellow Chevrolet, a gift from my brother Edward. It was pretty handy to have a brother who was able to read your mind, as he would know exactly what to give you for a present. I was more than excited when I got the vision, though I couldn't say the same for Edward. He was kind of pissed that his surprised was ruined, and decided to hand the keys over to me before I bugged him senseless. It wasn't like the car was going to be much of a surprise to me anyway, given my ability to envision the future. But nevertheless, it was still pretty nice of him to get me the darling car without me pestering for it.

Trees, buildings, people all zoomed pass outside the window as I generously applied force to the accelerator. I was heading back home, having just left the office about five minutes ago. There actually wasn't really a need for me to stay in an office, since I could work anywhere as long as I have my brain, paper, pencil and my creativity with me. But for the sake of appearances, I just complied. Why attract more attention to myself than needed? I am already attracting so much attention by just being myself, adorable and lovable.

Just as I was nearing home, a sudden craving to go to the bookstore just popped up. I could pick up a few good reads, along with some fashion magazines to note the trend and the popularity of the different designs in the market and maybe get some inspiration for my next batch of clothing. Guess it wouldn't hurt to pop in and have a look.

**

After much browsing, I had gathered a basketful of books and magazines. It wasn't a lot, but they should do; I'm guessing that they would be able to keep me busy for about a week. After paying by card at the counter, I gathered up the bags and headed for the front door.

Pushing open the door harder than required, I felt an impact as I did so, together with a horrible crashing sound.

"Ah! OUCH!"

I stepped out of the store hurriedly to find myself looking down at a lady decked in jeans and a printed tee-shirt (which was not exactly the trendiest outfit in my opinion) sprawled on the floor and rubbing her head with her right hand. Immediately, I held my breath and stop breathing. Cautiously, I sniffed the air discreetly. Good, no traces of blood. It has been about four days since I last fed, and I don't want to risk hurting anyone. The temptation of human blood may be too much for me to take.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. Are you all right?"

I offered her my right hand, shifting all the paper bags to my left one. Her expression changed into one of shock when she looked up and saw me standing there, offering her assistance. But she managed to regain her composure and took my hand with a smile.

"Thanks. No worries, I am fine. Accidents happen to me all the time. I'm quite accident-prone."

Rubbing the back of her head quite abashedly, she stood up and brushed herself off. It was then I when I really _noticed_ her. Letting my keen vampire eyes roam over the smooth curves and contours of her body, I took in all of her beauty. Her amber eyes shone as she smiled, while her silky brown hair glowed softly in the rays of the setting sun. She was only slightly taller than me, maybe about an inch or two. The unflattering clothes draped upon her body concealed her figure, which was quite a pity. Either she has quite minimal self-confidence, or she has totally zero fashion sense.

"I'm Alice, Alice Cullen"

I extended my right hand out to her again, grinning slightly.

She looked rather taken aback for a second, but she took my hand, nevertheless.

"Bella, Bella Swan."

"Really sorry about earlier. I really didn't mean to knock you down; I didn't notice that you were behind the door."

"It's okay, I'm fine! I'm used to it, haha. Don't worry so much about it."

She waved a hand dismissively, and then glanced down at the many packages I was carrying, all of which was still in my left hand.

"You just finished shopping for books?"

I nodded.

"Wow, that's quite a lot. You must be really strong." Her eyes roved over my body.

I suddenly felt rather self-conscious as she did so. Then, I realized what she had said in the first sentence and quickly transferred some of the packages over to my right hand. Damn, I had almost given myself away. I attempted to direct her attention away from my body and my unexplainable strength.

"Do you live around here?"

"Yea...what about you?"

"About ten minutes ride away from here."

She nodded in interest, before glancing at her watch. Then, she turned to face the bookstore.

"Oh. I live a few blocks down the road from here. All right, then I shall see you around. Bye!"

She waved goodbye to me with a smile, and then started walking towards the door of the bookstore. Turning around briefly, she gave me another slight wave before disappearing through the open door, which slowly swung shut and swallowed her into its depths.

Nothing could explain why she looked so familiar to me, nor why I had felt so disappointed when she walked off.

******

**Read and review! Let me know if I should continue this=)**


	2. Confusion and Thirst

**_Thanks to all those who reviewed! _**

**_Sorry for the long wait, but I was really busy. =/_**

**_Alice may seem slightly out-of-character here, but I feel that there will always be times when those who look optimistic and cheery will experience insecurity. Hope you guys will like this chapter!_**

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I drove straight through the open doors of the garage and came to a screeching halt after _putting_ my foot down on the brakes. _Putting_. I can't exactly slam my foot down on it because the car was not exactly "vampire-proof". Creating a hole in the car's tough metallic body would not be a very difficult task for me when I am not paying careful attention. My skin alone was way tougher than the car body with its diamond-like hardness. No way was I going to risk destroying my beloved Chevy which was only two months old! I don't think Edward would like that, despite the fact that I was his favorite sister.

After turning off the engine and hearing the gentle rumbling of my Chevy fade into the silence, I hopped out of the car nimbly, not even bothering to open the door. I had drawn back the roof of the car earlier on. Flitting over to the boot, I retrieved all the stuff that I had bought and headed back to the house, or the mansion, to be exact.

One good thing about the location of this huge mansion was that it was well situated at an isolated area beside a luxuriant forest. This made it easier for us to hunt without gathering too much attention from the people in town, who tend to avoid the dense forest, which was not a popular hiking spot to amateur hikers due to its high level of inaccessibility. Being situated further away from people would be more comfortable for us too. Imagine staying in the crowded town centre, far from animals, yet so close to the delicious-smelling humans, with your throat constantly burning with thirst every single second. It would be too much to take, unless maybe for Carlisle. Even though I had already grown used to a diet of animal blood, the temptation would still be too strong for me to resist if I were to be in such a situation. I have always wondered how Carlisle managed to control his thirst so well at the hospital, so much so that it seemed to be inexistent. It was pretty amazing for a vampire to be able to work in a place where the scent of human blood was so rich and tantalizing.

I zoomed up to my room with all my purchases, reaching it in merely three and a half seconds. I then dumped all the paper bags onto the silky, black linen sheets of my bed. It has always amused me when the humans thought that we vampires actually sleep in old, wooden coffins in the day and then appear in the darkest of the night to search for our unfortunate victims. Their so-called "facts" were really very far off from the actual truth. Actually, their "facts" were fabricated "truths" by the earliest of our kind to avoid drawing suspicion. So, contrary to popular beliefs, we do not sleep in the day; not at all, in fact. And thus, there was never a need for the wooden coffins. My king-sized bed was only meant for me to lie on and relax whenever I wanted to; not for sleeping. As well as for me to keep up with my human façade. It would seem mighty suspicious to not have a bed in the room of a human.

I went through the titles of the numerous books and magazines that I have bought today, sorting them out carefully in accordance to their authors and genres as I go along. Then, I filed them into the already bursting bookshelves of mine with slight difficulty; it was about time for me to get some new furniture and shelves. It would not be long until I get to have my own personal library from my huge collection of books and magazines. Hehe.

Just as I was flopped down on my front on the bed, kicking my legs in the air and flipping through a fashion magazine, a vision came to me and the very next instance, a soft knock on the door was heard.

"Come in, Edward!"

The door opened, revealing the tall, handsome brother of mine who stepped into the room with grace. His features was neatly sculpted upon his pale, smooth face, his body lithe and well-muscled. I have always wondered how many girls he have charmed with his looks. But like me, he was still in search for his soulmate. Unbelievable it may seemed, but it was the truth. Sighs. I have no idea why it was so hard to find a mate; throughout the decades, I have met so many people, yet not one of them had affected me in any sense.

I have never known what was love.

"Hey sis."

After shutting the door behind him, he headed over to the velvet red couch and sat down, crossing his legs casually. I sat up on the bed and turned to face him; I already know what he was going to ask me before he even opened his mouth. I gestured energetically with my hands to stop him when he opened his mouth to speak.

"I'm fine! Nothing happened! I merely popped by to the bookstore to pick up some books and new issues of the fashion magazines!"

He closed his mouth and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Then why so flustered, Alice?"

I chose to ignore his question.

"I only came in because I noticed that your thoughts were in a complicated jumble. Not that they were always easily understood though. Haha. But they made me quite confused too." He chuckled.

"Don't listen to my thoughts then! Easy as that!" I threw a fluffy pillow at him playfully.

Obviously, the pillow failed to make contact with his face. With his quick reflexes, he caught the pillow with his right hand, which he moved lazily in a swift, fluid motion. He rolled his golden eyes at me and chucked the pillow back with a quick flick of his wrists.

"You know that's impossible. Your thoughts are practically screaming right at me!"

I dodge the flying pillow and laughed.

"So tell me, who's this Bella Swan? She looked pretty nice to me."

"EDWARD CULLEN, YOU SAW THAT IN MY MIND?"

"Duh. Hard not to when she keeps appearing in your mind. So who is she?"

I pretended not to hear his question. But obviously, it did not work. In the blink of an eye, Edward was seated at the edge of my bed, and he leaned towards me as he asked again.

"Come on Alice, you know I'll find out sooner or later. Who's she?"

I swatted at his face but missed; he ducked backwards the instance I moved my hand. I sighed.

"I met her outside the bookstore."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"That I know. But there's more beneath the surface, right? At least in your case?"

"I-I don't know. She seemed very familiar; like I have seen her somewhere before..."

"Haha. You must be really affected by this beautiful stranger if your thoughts are in such a mess right now."

I looked at him in disbelief. Edward smiled, revealing his even, white teeth, then stood up and walked towards the door.

Just before he turned the doorknob, he glanced back at me.

"Follow your heart, Alice."

The door clicked shut behind him.

Darn, he just always has to come in at the wrong moments and make me more confused than I already was. I ran a hand through my spiky black hair and collapse back onto the bed.

After spending a minute blinking at the ceiling, thinking of nothing in particular except for a certain beautiful stranger, I decided to go hunting. I jumped off the bed, kept the magazine, and then headed over to the large, open window. Along the way, I passed by my classy, full body mirror and took a glance at my own reflection. Goodness, I really needed to hunt; specks of black were beginning to invade the liquid gold of my eyes.

Crouching down slightly, I readied myself and then sprung out of the window. I grabbed onto a tree limb like a trapeze artiste, swinging a complete round before letting go and allowing myself to shoot towards the dense canopy of trees which was the forest.

After somersaulting once in midair, I landed nicely in a small clearing.

The surroundings were calm, with only insect calls and the occasional breeze that brought with it the woody forest scent. I sniffed the air; there was a herd of deer not far off from here, and they were heading in my direction.

I crouched down again, looked up, and sprung onto an overhead branch.

The tough, beautiful antlers of the head of the herd appeared from amongst the bushes.

In a swift, fluid motion, I leapt off the branch and landed squarely on the back of the buck. Alarmed, it started twisting and jumping about in frenzy, trying to jerk me off its back. The rest of the herd scattered in fright, going off in different directions without their leader to guide them. A series of crashing and crunching could be heard as the animals dashed off in fear into the undergrowth.

Clinging on tightly to the buck with my legs clamped down at its side, my arms found their way to its muscular neck. Not wasting a second, I moved my mouth to its neck, drew my lips back and sank my canines into fur, skin and muscle.

I bit down into its neck and found a vein. Warm, crimson liquid flowed into my mouth and I greedily drank it in. Venom gathered at my fangs and flowed into my victim in exchange. The poor buck's body jerked and twitched and steadily weaken as blood continued flowing into my mouth and venom slowly spread in its body. With each mouthful of the delicious drink, the burning pain in my throat subsided.

At long last, the buck's body was drained of blood and its heart gave a final, feeble beat. It flopped down lifelessly onto the forest floor the moment I relinquished my bone-crushing hold on it.

Licking my lips clean, I leaped back onto the same branch and sat down, resting my back against it trunk and drawing my legs up to my chest. The burning in my throat was not completely gone, but it was reduced to a more manageable level.

The thirst had subsided, but it was not the only thing that was bothering me. My confusion was amplified and ten times worse than it was before, as questions kept flooding my mind.

I could not find any way to explain why I had felt that way towards the human girl. Why I had earnestly wished to know her better, to get closer to her; why the sense of disappointment was so overwhelming when she walked away from me. And why I was feeling this way towards a total stranger that I had bumped into on the streets. Literally.

Neither could I find an explanation to why she kept appearing in my mind, and why I was silently wishing to be able to see her again.

I don't even know what I was feeling.

And why I have never felt this way before.

******

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	3. Second Encounter

**_Thanks for all the reviews! Hope you guys would enjoy this chapter too!_**

**_**_**

**BPOV**

It was a Monday morning, and I was driving along to my office in my second-hand red Honda. The truck which Charlie had gotten me while I was still studying in Forks High School has long since found a new life at the scrap metal yard. It pained me to get rid of it; for I had grown to love it despite all its flaws and imperfections.

I had picked up this Honda after I moved to Seattle upon completion of college and university. Without Charlie though; he never liked living in big towns and he love his job far too much to leave Forks. The hectic life, the noise and the excitement in big towns and cities was a total turn-off to him, and his sense of responsibility as an officer back at Forks further dissuaded him from moving with me. Though I do love Charlie, I still went ahead with my decision. It was quite a relief for me to leave Forks behind, for I had never felt much for that small little town before. Much to Charlie's disappointment.

The windows of the Honda were rolled down, and the cool morning air rushed into the car as I navigated my way carefully along the busy streets of Seattle. Second-handed cars undoubtfully would not be perfect and would each have their own flaws; for my Honda, it was prone to breakdowns and the air-conditioner and radio have each lived their last. I am not really that concerned about that; as long as it served the purpose of a vehicle, I would be totally fine with it. At least the Honda was in a much better condition than my old truck. I would have sent the car for servicing, but that would mean going without a personal mode of transport for weeks. With a job that requires me to move around pretty much, I cannot afford to go without my car for even a week.

I was a professional photographer with a company, and I would take whatever assignments they gave me. Usually it was wedding photos, or for some other special occasions, but there would be times when fashion corporations hire me to take photographs to promote their new line of clothing and such. Things may get pretty dull and boring, but photography has always been my passion, and thus I would never get bored of it. The pay was good as well, on top of a basic salary each month from the company, I get commissions with each assignment I take on. I have been toying with the idea of being my own boss, but I have been pretty scared of taking risks. Maybe someday.

Precisely because I was a photographer, quite a well-known one at that, that I need to move around on my own pretty much to assignments. The office was pretty much useless, for I have never stayed in it for long. It was there just to make me look and seem more..._professional_.

I drove into the carpark and found my usual spot and backed my car into it. The car jerked suddenly as I felt it hit something. Poking my head out of the window for a better look, I groaned. The car had backed onto the curb, thanks to my not-so-polished driving skills. This was the third time in the week. I revved up the engine again in frustration, switched gears to the 'Drive' mode and stepped down very lightly on the accelerator. The car moved forward slightly and I felt a bounce as the back wheel moved off the curb. I sighed, then turned off the engine and got out of the car. It was never clear to me why I am so prone to accidents and embarrassments.

I arrived at my office about five minutes later, thankfully without any further accidents. I dumped my bag on the table, which was in quite a mess, and slumped into the chair, closing my eyes. My office was nothing fancy. Just the typical, plain boring old room with desks, chairs, a laptop, lots of files and a bookshelf. Actually, it was not entirely 'my' office. There were several other colleagues who shared the same room with me, but they have yet to reach. The company would never be so rich and generous as to provide us each with our own personal space. Hence why I feel like quiting. Looking on the brighter side though; at least the pay was good. Not to mention the boss either.

"Isabella?"

My eyes shot open in annoyance. Groaning, I sat up properly. My boss had just stepped out of her office, clutching a file to her breast.

"How many times have I told you not to call me that, _Mich_?"

She chuckled. Her eyes twinkled under the lined, eyeshadowed lids.

"And how many times have I told you _not_ to call me by my nickname?"

"Well, you started it first."

I stuck out my tongue playfully. Michelle rolled her eyes and walked over to the front of my desk, her heels silent by the carpeted floor. Michelle was quite the attractive woman. Decked out in a brown female suit with the heels to match, she looked stunning. However, who would expect such a lady to be taken by another? Not me. I am completely okay with same-sex relationships; having a very open-minded mother and an open-mind yourself did contributed to that. There's completely nothing wrong to be in love with someone of the same gender. It does not make anyone any different from the others. Look at Mich and I doubt anyone would disagree to that.

"Fine Bella, you win. Anyway, good morning. Always the early bird, huh?"

"Haha. Same to you. Look who's talking! You never fail to be here when I reach."

"I have to set a good example, no?"

"I guess so. But from the looks of it, I'm the only one following your _good_ example."

She laughed again.

"Guess I'm not the most influential woman around then."

She winked at me and placed the file down on my table.

"All right. Jokes aside for now. I have a new assignment for you."

"I can see that. Care to explain more?"

"I'm getting to it. This one's from a fashion corporation based here in Seattle. Details are all inside. They requested for you to shoot for their new batch of clothing by one of their potential fashion designers this afternoon. Sorry for the late notice, but their request came in pretty late and I didn't wanted to bother you. Seeing that you are free today, I took the initiative to help you set the date. Hope you would not mind."

"Of course not! Thanks, Michelle."

She smiled, then continued, "You are getting pretty popular around here. Do a good job, Bella."

"You know I always do."

"Good."

Michelle beamed at me and then turned on her heels to head back to her office of glass. The walls and the door of her office was all glass, and undeniably beautiful. Much better than this crappy, cramp room they termed an 'office'. At least the time I spent here was minimal.

I sighed and turned my attention to the innocent-looking file which was resting atop the mess of stray papers and documents scattered on my table. Gathering them up haphazardly, I stuffed them into a random drawer. There would always be time to sort them out later.

Once my table look presentably neat, I took up my most recent assignment and began leafing through the file. Parevim...it rang a bell. If my thoughts didn't fail me, I think I have heard of this fashion corporation before. But I couldn't be sure. Never being someone who cared about appearances and branded goods, naturally, I never knew much about fashion either. It doesn't matter, anyway. I would be there to take photographs, not to comment on fashion trends and such.

I spent the rest of my morning flipping through photography books and checking my gear. I made sure that my camera and lenses were all in perfect condition, and that I have enough batteries and rolls of film to last me for the whole assignment. After double-checking and triple-checking that I have everything that I need, I left the office with my gear.

**************

Saying that Parevim was huge would be an understatement by itself. The building was towering and at least twenty stories high. It was not a lie to say that Parevim really was one big fashion corporation. I can't believe I have never heard much about it before. Then again, I wasn't quite the fashionable person, so there was really nothing surprising about that.

The security let me into the carpark after I told them what I was here for. After parking neatly into an available spot, thankfully without any curbs-related accidents, I hoisted the sling bag containing my gear onto my shoulder and headed for the building.

The lobby itself was quite a treat to the eye; it was all intricately done up with a touch of class. If I did not know better, I would have thought that I had walked into a hotel lobby.

After about ten minutes of navigation in the maze of a building, I managed to find my way to their studios. It was pretty lucky that I had reached early.

"Hey! Are you the professional photographer, Isabella Swan?"

A lady with square-rimmed spectacles and a clipboard in her hand came over to me when I poked my head through the door. Decked in Levi's jeans and a brown tank top and a black jacket to complete the entirely look, she seemed to be dressed pretty casually for her line of work. I had assumed that the people here would be classily dressed after seeing the interior of the building itself. But nevertheless, despite her smart-casual look, her appearance still screamed style.

This made me feel slightly out-of-place in my faded jeans, black tee and vest. Especially so when she came to stand right beside me, her black heels with my shoes.

"You are pretty early, the previous photographers that we had always showed up late."

"Uh, thanks."

"Anyway, Isabella, you can come in and set up your stuff, but you may have to wait slightly because we need the designer to come down and have a look at everything before we start so that we don't screw up the feel that she wants."

"Er, yeah, all right. Call me Bella, please."

"Oh! Forgive me, I have yet to introduce myself. I am Jessie, and I'm in charge of this whole shooting. Sorry, but there's so much things going on that I got a bit messed up."

She was bouncing up and down, and her curly brown hair was slightly ruffled. She has a habit of twirling the pen in her hand, I noticed. She speaks in a rambling manner; and it was rather hard to catch what she was saying at times. Not only did she got messed up herself, she got me muddled too.

"It's all right."

"Okay, you make yourself at home; I'll go see if that designer is done. She's pretty young, but she's blooming with potential. But she can be quite hard to catch; she's always running here and there. But her works are still brillant!"

"Haha, okay-"

My words had barely left my mouth before Jessie dashed off again, leaving me standing there alone, looking utterly lost.

"-then."

I stared at her retreating figure with a stupid look on my face as she bustled off.

After recovering from that mild shock, I found my way to the front of the backdrop screen and unpacked my gear, set up my tripod stand and have my batteries and lenses on the standby. I got it all done up in a matter of minutes. When it comes to photography, I was never careless with the equipment, and not once had I dropped it or scratched its surface. Quite unlike me, I know, but it's the truth! You wouldn't be careless either if you were me; the camera alone cost a fortune. The equipment were much too precious to me to be handled haphazardly.

Being accustomed to all the procedures, setting up the equipment barely cost me a single ounce of effort. I had it all done in moments and was left with ample time to look around the vast studio. The walls were painted with a fresh coat of white, the flooring clean and smooth. It would not require an expert eye to see that the studio was a pretty new one. From the looks of it, the company had not cut any corners in trying to save cost at all. The studio was almost as well-equipped as the one at the company I am working at, and this must be saying something!

The models were all ready for the shooting. The design and the cutting of the clothes almost blatantly screamed to me the designer's own personality. You can always figure out what the designer was like through his or her own creations. From the plunging necklines, the intricate details and the unique designs, it was obvious that the designer is a meticulous, creative and a very daring person.

While I was still transfixed, something heavy clapped onto my shoulder. I heard an ominous crack as I turned my head swiftly to the back. But there was no one.

"Like what you see?"

Snapping my head back to the front, a petite figure greeted my eyes. She was pretty quick and nimble, huh?

"Oh, hi! What are you doing here?"

She laughed and bounced on the balls of her feet.

"I was about to ask you the same question too! I'm here to take a look before the shooting starts."

"I see. Well, I'm the photographer requested for this photo shoot."

"Really? That's great! I'm the designer of this batch of clothes."

The look of muted surprise on my face must have been hilarious, for the next thing I heard was her lilting laughter. The laughter which so resembled wind chimes and musical notes.

"Wow, but if you are a fashion designer, how come I've never seen your line of clothing before?"

"I'm not that accomplished yet, silly! But I'm _guessing_ it won't be long before you do see _my_ line of clothing in the stores."

Alice winked and then threw a glance over her shoulder. Jessie was running towards us in a quite a frenzy, her hair and her jacket billowing out from behind her. How come I have failed to spot her approaching before Alice did, I have no idea.

"Ah, g-good, you guys are all here. Miss C-cullen, is it okay if we start now?"

"Yep!"

Jessie clutched at her sides, her bosom heaving from her heavy panting.

"G-greuh...great! Then, Isabella, anytime you are ready.."

I rolled my eyes again.

"It's Bella."

**_********_**

_**A.N: I played around with the letters of a certain word to come up with the name of the fashion corporation, Parevim. See whether you guys can figure it out! Drop me a review and let me know how I can improve on the story please!**_


	4. Say My Name

_**A.N: Yep, I know it has been eons since I last updated any of my stories, and I sincerely apologise for that. I have been really busy (seriously!) with school stuff, having just entered junior college. There has been tons of things going on that it was almost impossible for me to squeeze out time to write. Hopefully, the standard of this chapter did not suffer because of that. And the plot bunnies have been quite evasive recently, and that's another reason why it took so long for me to update. =x**_

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**Alice POV**

*Flashback*

_I was in a black, foldable chair by the side, poker-straight, just like how I would be every single time something caught my fullest attention. And at that very time, the object which had captured my fascination was a human, a young human woman, Bella Swan. She was some distance away from where I was sitting, or rather, I was some distance away from her, far enough not to disrupt, but still close enough to have a clear view of the whole shooting process, which by the way was pretty interesting in itself, though nowhere as interesting as the photographer. _

_So very interesting was the said photographer that try as I might, I found it impossible to pull my eyes away from her. Not even to glance at the models who were decked in my own creations. Of which I must mention, I was quite proud of. Come on, which designer wouldn't take pride in her works? It was quite amazing of Bella to be able to hold my attention and keep it away from my own designs._

_With Bella around, strangely, even the presentation of my designs didn't matter to me. I was entranced by all that she was doing at that time that I didn't really notice anything else. Watching her bustling about, setting up equipment, adjusting the tripod stand, changing the lenses; everything she did was entertaining to my keen vampire eyes, which was attracted to her just like how a steel bar would be attracted to a magnet. __I didn't really bothered to make any effort to hide my blatant observation of her. Nor did I cared about how statue-esque I looked. Or perhaps, I couldn't even pull myself together to care. My eyes just fell on her and refused to look anywhere else. I was just too... absorbed. _

_That showed how major the impact that she has on me was, if she could render me incapable of doing other things except for staring at her, for vampires should be quite good at multi-tasking. Sighs._

"_Put your hand behind your head, like this….no, no, no, not like that, lower your elbow slightly….ah, yes yes! Keep it there! Wait...tilt your head back slightly, yep, that's it! HOLD THAT POSE!"_

_Bella's clear voice rang out in the studio almost every minute of the photo shoot, and so did her professionalism. It was quite enjoyable and mildly amusing to see her giving out orders in that animated little way of hers. If I wasn't so deeply engrossed with her every move, I guess I would be giggling non-stop at how very adorable she looked. She was so cute with her crouched posture and every one of her little subconscious actions, from biting her lower lip or her tongue to scunching up her face in a small frown in concentration. That made her look almost...child-like. _

_Motioning to the models to keep the pose, she lowered her face to the camera and positioned her left eye at the camera's viewer. Her fingers danced nimbly over the camera; turning the lenses with practiced ease, adjusting the angles and capturing the best shot at each and every angle. She totally doesn't seem to be as accident-prone as she said. I know that may sound pretty disbelieving or even shocking in a sense, but you would have agreed too if you had seen her then!_

_"...Strike another pose! Yes, that'll do. Smile!"_

_My brain seems to go haywire whenever she's around. Goodness, the things that she was doing to me just by being herself. The little bit of red that was her tongue peeped out from between her teeth as she gently bit down on it. So teasingly..._

_I tried not to giggle at the way she shut her right eye tightly while she peered through the camera, her camera-hand steady while the other nimbly slide on the lenses as she focus the camera on the models. I could almost sense her inner child skipping in excitement around the studio; her passion flooded the entire studio. It was so very obvious that we all could feel it. I had to resist not to go jumping up to her at that very moment. Well, it was not that hard if I concentrate on her as she go about the shooting process. Which was exactly what I was doing._

_She paused for a while to change the lenses, and she had it done in a blink of an eye. While she was getting her camera ready for the next shot, her chocolate-brown eyes swivelled towards me. I winked at her, and she grinned before turning away. _

_Flashes of light filled the studio every minute or so as the photo shoot went on smoothly, without any grunts of protest or whines from the crew and all others present. Jessie was surprisingly quiet, and what was even more shocking was that she seemed to be enjoying herself just by watching the whole process. __Usually she would have been complaining about the photographers and how very long they were taking, their lack of professionalism ( despite them being professionals), and busy herself by picking out each and every single one of their flaws and listing them out, bouncing on her chair as she do so, anxiously waiting for the photo shoot to end. __if you ask me, I would agree that it was indeed quite a rare sight to see her so quiet during a photo shoot, but nothing that I'm not thankful for. __It was a good change not to have her complaining and whining beside me, honestly. Though I would usually tune her out whenever she start on one of her famous complaining marathon. I know it's rude, but if you were me, I dare say you would do that too. _

_I suppose Bella's the only photographer to have ever got into Jessie's good books. (And everyone at Parevim all knew how hard Jessie is to please.) _

_But there was something else that I admired Bella for, and that's her strong, burning passion for her job. _

_In a busy city like Seattle, it's a challenge to find somebody who is so passionate over his or her job. Someone like Carlisle, who devoted his entire life to doing the one thing he loves; saving lives. Who seems to live and breathe for that one thing they love. I deeply admire people who are like that. Photography is clearly her love; she could never get bored over it or give it up. Which intrigued me much; I wondered what caused her to be so interested in this field. Well, guess I should ask her someday. But now, I should just sit back and enjoy watching her while she cheerily go about with her work._

_I was mesmerized by her burning flame of passion, and I just could not pull myself away._

_Looking at her was almost…_intoxicating_. There was something irresistible about her, something that automatically drew her to me. Despite the presence of so many other humans, her scent still stood out from the rest. Maybe it was because the rest were just not as interesting as Bella. That seemed to be quite evil of me to be thinking that. Okay. Or maybe it was just that Bella intrigues me more as compared to the rest. _

_She was just too addictive._

_The sweet smell of her blood, the rhythmic thumping of her heart that echoed deep in my eardrums, the very presence of her alone captivates me. But no, it was not the thirst for her blood that made her so attractive to me. That I was absolutely sure. My throat was barely burning, and the carnal urge for the crimson liquid was well under my control._

_But I was still very deeply drawn to her very self._

_The ways that sweet scent of hers beckon to me and tease me. Drawing me closer, engulfing me in a thick haze; drowning me, flooding each and every one of my keen senses. The way excitement and enthusiasm swim in the molten chocolate of her eyes. The way beauty seemed to exude from her every pore. _

_The way the tip of her pink tongue flick out against the top row of her even, white teeth when she say my name. _

When_ she say my name…_

"_Alice, Alice, Alice…"_

_******_

"ALICE!"

Edward's voice ripped through my reverie and derailed my train of thoughts, much to my irritation and shock. Inhaling sharply in my moment of shock, I caught his unique scent in the air. I whipped around in a hurry, only to find Edward seated calmly in my favorite red couch, his legs crossed neatly, his eyes boring into me.

Words flew out of my mouth before I even had time to think.

"What...Edward, when did you arrive?!"

Why does he always have to pick the wrong moments for a visit? Edward rolled his golden orbs at my flustered self, his face indifferent. Damn, if only I could read minds like him.

Shit...read minds!? How much had he seen in my head?

Groaning inwardly, I ran my hands through my hair, resisting the urge to pull them out in my frustration. It was at times like this a mind-reader brother could really be quite a nuisance. It would be really nice if I can block him out at times. But I shouldn't risk my image. Vampires' hair does not grow, but I am not sure whether it will attach itself back after being detached. No way was I going to try or experiment though; my image would be at sake. And yes, I am _strong enough_ to pull out my own hair, but I was not going to do something as stupid as that. I would never wear a wig even if you threaten to burn me.

"Yea, I wouldn't want to try that too. I don't exactly fancy having a bald spot." I rolled my eyes. Though it does seem quite interesting and hilarious to imagine Edward with a shiny, bald patch on his head. Then maybe he would not be so 'handsome' in the eyes of the human girls. Hehe.

"Don't ever think of doing anything to my hair." Edward shot upright in a split second. His eyes glinting, his eyelids dangerously half-closed as he spoke in a warning tone, running a hand through his thick, wavy locks protectively.

I merely shrugged in response, too preoccupied trying to think of what Edward would most likely interrogate me about. To no avail though; my brain was in such a whirl that no matter how hard I tried, no vision on what he was about to ask me came. I growled in frustration when a hazy image of Bella floated into my mind again.

Sensing that the threat was over, or more like, after knowing that the threat was over by reading my mind, Edward relaxed and reclined back onto the couch. He laughed cheekily. I supposed he had just seen what I had seen in my mind's eye.

"It really did take you long enough to notice me though, Alice. I've been here for quite some time! Well, I guess I should not complain so much, not when I had just enjoyed quite a nice free show."

"Wha-?"

He smirked, then shifted in the couch so that his legs were hanging out from one side, while his back rested on the armrest of the other. Casually, he crossed his hands behind his head, before turning his face slightly towards me and lifting an eyebrow.

"Yea, you were too busy replaying, *erhem* , everything, to even notice that your brother has popped in."

"You-"

"Yeah, I pretty much saw everything. Haha. _Alice_~"

He closed his eyes and faked a high-pitched sing-song voice that doesn't even sound close to Bella's sweet voice. I narrowed my eyes dangerously. Irritation took control and I picked up the nearest object to me, which in this case was a table lamp, and flung it at him. He read my mind and saw that coming though, depriving me of the sweet crunch that I should hear if the lamp had found its target. Damn, if only he wasn't that fast. If he was human, he would have gotten a severe concussion from that.

"Tsk tsk tsk, you shouldn't do that, that's too _dangerous_. Esme's downstairs, and I'm sure she wouldn't be too happy if we start _bickering_ again in the house." Edward shook his head in mock disapproval, wagging a finger and pretending to be deep in thought.

I turned my eyes to the ceiling at the two greatest understatements of the day, as well as at my _dramatic_ brother. All right, maybe just dramatic-at-times brother. But I was serious about the understatements part. For once, flinging table lamps at each other in the house, especially if Esme was at home, was not _dangerous_.

It was _courting death._

Esme absolutely abhore people wrecking havoc in her house, not to mention vampires, with which the destruction would be multiplied at least ten times. Second, me and Edward's _bickering_ matches were actually more than that of the human's definition. At least from what we know, it is. The dictionary didn't write that bickering refers to _mass destruction_ and_ incessant_ hurling of knife-sharp words in more that ten different languages, did it?

"But hey, Alice, enough with all these. Down to serious matters now. What's with you and Bella?"

I froze. Literally.

When it was time to be serious, you could always count on dear Edward to be totally in the right mood for it. But sadly, it was often when I don't want to be and when I was trying my best to evade the topic.

Edward frowned, and pulled a cushion out from beneath himself and tossed it at me. It wasn't too hard a blow, but it was hard enough to thaw me from my frozen state. Figuratively speaking, of course. Obviously, I wasn't elated regarding where the conversation was directed.

"Nothing. We're just friends."

Perhaps it was the bitter tone in my voice, or maybe it was the sudden change in my facial expression, for Edward suddenly became concerned. Yea, Edward's not_ cold_ and unfeeling. Haha. There was a reason why he became my favourite brother, you know.

"But there_ is_ something wrong; you're not the Alice I know and love. And it's affecting you greatly if you even fail to notice me coming into the room."

Not knowing what to say, I kept silent. My blanket seemed more interesting than my vampire brother at that moment as I twisted and tugged at it with my strong fingers. When he realized that I was not about to answer, he continued. But never did I expect his next statement to hit me with so much force. He was looking at me so closely that you would have thought that I had grown wings or something.

"You feel something for her, don't you? Something more than friendship alone."

Stopping my twisting of my poor blanket, I looked up at him with frozen surprise in my eyes. He caught me unexpected with that sentence. My mouth had fell open again without my notice.

Please. We had only met twice, and had barely got to know each other well!

Not to mention that I don't even have her number!

She was merely a friend to me. Yes, that was it, we were just friends, nothing more.

"Friends for now, yes. But you want more, Alice. Don't try to lie to yourself about your own feelings."

I refused to look up at him, and content myself with glaring at my pillow as if it had offended me with its presence. I could still feel Edward's eyes on me, and I need not look at him to know that he was waiting to see my reaction. I guessed I disappointed him, for I gave him none.

"I don't think there's any other explanation for all this. Never had I seen you like this before; lack of alertness, confused, withdrawn. In case you weren't conscious of it, you have been keeping to your room more often now. Come on, Alice, the others may not be able to tell, but I can. Your thoughts are a pretty good evidence, you know. I think that you...have fallen pretty hard for...her."

Again, my mouth took over before my brain could act.

"N-no, it can't be...I-I don't know. I seriously don't know!"

For some reason, I just could not get a proper sentence out without sputtering. That was a bad sign; seeing that I am a vampire, and I've always been in control of situations. Confusion was not something that I am familiar with, not since I left my human life behind; which in case you have forgotten, was more than a century ago.

But now, confusion was overwhelming me; I cannot sort out my thoughts, my feelings for Bella. No, she's just a friend, a close friend whom I could get along well with. Anyway, we can never have a relationship with a human without revealing our age-old secret.

Also, it was totally not possible for people to fall in love at _first_ _sight_. Or even second. Let alone for us vampires. I have never believed in all that love at first sight nonsense. Maybe for me it would be slightly different with my ability. Perhaps I would be able to_ see_ myself falling for someone before it even happen.

I don't know, it was just spectaculation on my part. If it was indeed possible, it was not right then, definitely. My thoughts were in too much of a mush. I don't know if that has anything to do with a certain someone.

But despite all of my confusion and inner battles, Edward's words have struck something deep in me. He prompted me to start thinking about my own feelings, though there was not much difference whether I sorted out my feelings or not. There was such a huge rush of emotions in my head, that I don't know what I was feeling, what I was supposed to feel, or even HOW to feel. I don't even know what is the feeling of love.

I have never been in love before.

"Seriously, Alice, think about it. And lighten up a bit. Haha. Don't let all these weigh you down, all right? I miss the old, bubbly, hyperactive Alice." His lips turned upwards in a smile. "And once you get your thoughts sorted out, go for it! Remember what I said? Follow your heart! I'll always support you."

Slipping off the couch gracefully, Edward patted my shoulder in an assuring and brotherly manner before leaving the room so soundlessly that he could have glided out. And that left me sitting on my smooth silky linen sheets, with a whole truckload of things going through my confused and muddled mind, a far contrast from the smooth sheets below me; for my mind was one huge, rough and tumultous mess.

**_*****_**

**_I love to hear your views and opinions on the story=) Let me know how I can improve!_**


	5. Revelation?

**_A.N: A big thank you to all those who have reviewed! You people have really made me one happy person, haha xD_**

**_Sorry for the long period of hiatus. I've been really busy with schoolwork and the mood to write has not been with me either. And I'm just feeling really really confused with myself. Meh._**

**_BUT nevertheless, your (very-much appreciated) patience is (hopefully) rewarded with this chapter =) enjoy!_**

**_Remember to review!_**

**_Chapter 5 (APOV)_**

**-Flashback-**

"_Hello, Alice Cullen speaking."_

_The next moment, a sharp screech caused me to pull the receiver as far as I could away from my ear._

"_ALICE! Still remember me?"_

"_Uh..." I wracked my brain, trying to pick out the name from my whole tangled mess of thoughts. It was at the very tip of my tongue. "Sorry, my brain cells seem to be on a strike."_

_Loud giggles greeted me. Great, it must be a prank call from some crazy old nut. But that doesn't explain why the person would know my name. Wait, I just gave her my name, did I not? Argh. That was extremely stupid of me._

_I was just about to hang up when the person finally responded coherently._

"_It's Vanessa! Gosh, I can't believe you actually forgotten me. How's life in Seattle?"_

_Oh, Vanessa. I remember…slightly now._

"_Erm, quite fine, thanks. So what's with this sudden call?"_

_I highly doubt she just wanted a casual, friendly chat. Not after about four years without any contact ever since we moved here to Seattle. And I was right._

"_Haha, actually, it's nothing much. Just wanted to let you know that Forks High School is going to celebrate its hundredth year anniversary next Sunday! You will be going down for sure, right?"_

_She sounded quite pushy and excited, so much so that I was having a rather hard time trying to think of a convincing excuse to get myself out of it. Mingling with a whole crowd of humans with blasting music and crazy screeching was not something that I would fancy. In the past, probably; but these days I have not been feeling my best, and I was not sure whether I would want to put myself deliberately in a situation that obviously would not be able to make me any better._

"_Uh…"_

"_Come on, I know you will! It will be good to meet up with the rest again!"_

_Uh-huh, meet up. It was not like I had really mixed around with the other students back when we were studying in Forks. "We", meaning Edward, Emmett, Rosalie and myself, obviously. (Jasper didn't want to attend school, for he preferred backpacking trips than the "dull, boring monotonous human school life", according to him.) We tend to stick to ourselves. Okay, fine, we always stick to ourselves. Even after Rosalie and Emmett graduated (they graduated a year earlier than Edward and I), though we did warm up (not literally, of course) slightly to the others, the two of us still stuck mostly to our own little world. And when we do mix around, it was only with a few very close friends, one of which was Vanessa. Well, I guess you could consider her a family friend, since her father works at the hospital with Carlisle back while we were still living in that small town._

_Anyway, back to the topic. Vanessa was screeching into the phone in excitement as she continued on and on about all the guys who will be going down and how many of them seemed to have went through extreme makeover. Meh._

_  
"...Anyway, they want all the alumni to be back, so there's no way you can worm _(I groaned when I heard this and punch my pillow forcefully)_ your way out of this. Edward too; I reckon he will most likely try to get out of it if he could. Well, there's no way he could, because the invitations are probably reaching you guys in a few hours time."_

"_WHAT?"_

"_Yes." How could she remain so calm when I practically just screamed into the receiver? "I told you, there's no way the two of you are getting out of this. Get your older brother and your gorgeous sister down too. What were their names? Er…" Vanessa mumbled slightly, "Rose and Emmett?" _

"_Rosalie..."_

"_Oh, yes yes, Rosalie! Yea, get them down. I don't care, you guys MUST show up. Promise?"_

"_Okay…"_

"_Great! Then I shall see you and the rest next Sunday! Okay, I better be off to get new clothes for the occasion, bye!"_

"_Bye…"_

_A sharp click sound was all I heard after barely managing to get that last word out of my mouth._

**-End Flashback-**

And that was how I ended up in this stuffy, over packed gym of chattering crowds and over-enthusiastic people.

I heaved a sigh. Edward just went off to have a look around; apparently, this hundredth anniversary celebration was also an attempt to raise funds for the school. No wonder all the booths scattered around. I could not stand the hustle and bustle of everything, the chaos and the crowd, and had found a quieter spot at some corner just to be away from it all. Rosalie and Emmett should be devouring each other's heads off at some dark, secluded corner in the school. Ha.

I sat myself down at one of the wooden tables in the corner, buried my face into my hands and tried to block out the noise, hoping that it would be able to stop the faint throbbing in my head. I have been having headaches since I don't know went, all I know that it has been bothering me a great deal. Not to mention that it was interfering with my brainstorming. I have not come out with any ideas or muses for new designs ever since that photo shoot with Bella as the photographer and-

WAIT. BELLA.

Why does she keep popping into my mind? It was like my mind was invaded by her or something-

…

Or perhaps, what Edward said was all true. I _am _getting all obsessed over her, so much so that I could almost see her standing three meters away from the table where I was seated.

Wait a minute, I don't think- no, it was not…it was not the hallucinations.

It was indeed Bella in front of me.

Oh no, she just turned around and-

"Alice! What a coincidence!"

Camera in hand, she bounced towards me, with a beaming smile bright enough to lighten up my day. I smiled back as she approached, until she knocked her hips against one of the wooden tables and stumbled.

Being the caring and concern person that I always am, I shot up and held her steady. She was in a comfortable pair of worn Converse sneakers, while I was wearing heeled boots, which made me taller than her by a good few centimeters. Instinctively, my arms gently found their way around her body. Never did I expect, even with my foresight or not, for her to fall right pass my arms and against my…_chest_.

And the last thing I had expected at the moment of our contact was for my body to react in the way it did, which had never happened before.

My skin burn from her touch, and my stomach was churning with sadistic pleasure. I knew that her skin would be burning to my touch, but never did I expect myself to feel so…at ease with her in my arms. At the same time, a strong sense of possessiveness and protectiveness over Bella rouse in me like a lion stirring from its sleep. She was so fragile, so breakable and vulnerable in my arms; just exerting a bit of strength on my part would easily bruise her. I knew that I need to be careful with her, not to mention around her.

She set me on fire, a fire of cold flames. And then-

Her gentle voice knocked me back down to reality.

"Alice?" Her big, brown eyes were looking at mine with concern, with a bit of embarrassment that I could see that she was trying to conceal. "Are you all right? You are freezing!"

I released her instantly and retreated. The fact that I have a temperature much lower than normal had totally escaped my mind. I had not expected Bella to be so observant and sharp either.

"No, I'm fine. Just feeling a bit cold, that's all." Which does not make any sense at all, for the gym was not air-conditioned, and with all the people crammed in it, it was stuffy and warm. Bella lifted an eyebrow and gave me a look that screams disbelief.

"Are you sure? I think you may have caught a chill. The weather's pretty cold these few days."

I winced. "Um, yea, maybe. How is your hip? You knocked it pretty hard." I know it sounded lame, but that was the best I could manage. Hopefully, she would just forget about my lower-than-normal body temperature as I attempt to steer the conversation into safer waters.

"Don't worry, I'm used to it. I'll probably get a bruise later, but I'm sure it'll be gone in a couple of days." An assuring smile, then a worried frown, "Are you sure you're fine? Because I saw you from a distance just now, and you look anything but fine."

"Yea, maybe just a slight headache, nothing much." That was true; I was indeed having a headache. "I don't quite like this stuffy and overcrowded gym."

Bella don't seem to buy my story; in fact, the frown never slid off her face.

"Me neither; but you really look pale. I think you should just get outside for some fresh air. Come on." The next moment, she had grabbed my hand and was dragging me towards the door nearest to us, navigating her way through the masses. I didn't even have time to protest. I am supposed to be pale and cold, but after all, she was not supposed to know. I guess this means that I would have to play along with her. Not that I minded, as I enjoy the feel of her hand in mine. It felt so…natural.

Once we were out of that stuffy gym, she brought me over to some deserted corner in the school that I had never seen before. They did renovate the school quite a bit throughout the years. But still, the buildings were rundown and the facilities could be better.

We found a table at a study corner, and sat down opposite each other. It was awkward, for we were quiet the entire time Bella was intended to find a suitable place for me to "rest".

"WHA-?"

I jumped when Bella took hold of both my hands in hers. My gift was still not functioning properly. I look back at her with a questioning look. She frowned back in concern, rubbing my hands in an attempt to warm them, I guess.

"You're still cold…"

I could not help but to let out a laugh, which caused her to look up in shock and confusion.

"What?"

I bit back my giggles, and calmed myself down before explaining.

"My temperature has always been _slightly_ lower than…normal-"

"Slightly?!" I giggled at her shock exclamation. "Are you _human_ or not?"

_That_ word came as a huge blow. My demeanor changed entirely, and a heavy stone seemed to have fallen into my stomach.

She noticed the changes in me. She noticed me stiffen and tense up. She noticed the molten gold in my eyes solidify. She noticed my hands grip hers suddenly.

"...No?"

Probbing me gently, she asked tentatively and silently. I noticed that her hands were still holding mine, and I took relief in the fact that she did not pull away. However, I was still stunned, shock, shaken and speechless. It was the first, the very first time that someone had come so close to discovering my true identity. I did not know how to reply her.

Even though I said nothing, she seemed to have reached a realisation. Her eyes widened. I shifted my gaze to the table. I could not bring myself to look at her reaction.

"...Th-then?"

Her voice was a mere whisper, almost silent. She breathed the word out with slight hesitation. It was her hesitation that broke me. It screamed blatantly to me, telling me that she would never accept me.

I shook my head. I could not bring myself to tell her the truth, to reveal my true identity. I could not do so in the first place, for we were sworn to secrecy. If I say anything about my kind to her, then the Volturi would take pleasure in ripping me apart and burning my remains as punishment for breaking the laws. Basically, death would welcome me with open arms.

I felt her hand release one of mine, and I felt her pull away. That was the tipping point; I could feel myself breaking up inside. I knew, I knew that she could never accept me. And I was right. Shutting my eyes tightly, I released her other hand, and pulled my hands away, away from her.

But I was trapped. One of her hands reached out to grab mine, effectively preventing me from withdrawing away from her. The sudden contact shocked me, and my eyes shot open, only to see her other hand reaching towards me.

The next thing I know was the feel of her soft, smooth hand, as she gently lifted my chin just enough for me to look into her eyes.

But I could not bring myself to do so. I glanced away, but I knew she had already seen the look in my eyes. The dejectedness, the sorrow, the pain.

"Alice..." Her voice was like an icy breath, freezing me, and causing a cold, sharp pain in me.

I could not take it any longer. The immense pressure, tension and pain were too much. Her voice hurt me, and I could not bear it any more.

Jumping up, I ran away, away from the area, away from her, ignoring her cry of shock, and the calls of my name.


	6. Take Off

_A.N: Again, many thanks to all who have reviewed=)_

_Hmm. Sorry for the long time without an update again. Anyway, the holidays are here, and so is the immense workload. Common tests start once college reopens, so I'll be very busy in the holidays. Nevertheless, I won't neglect my writing. Or at least, I'll try not to._

_June is here! Whoots. I'm gonna age by a year soon=/_

_So, thanks for being patient. Here's chapter 6!_

Chapter 6

**BPOV**  
**

A whip of gorgeous, spiky, black; with ripped jean bottoms falling in folds and brushing dull gray cement, Alice took off. Her boots made rapid, almost-silent clicks that echoed painfully in my head.

I sat, in stunned silence, mouth gaping slightly as I watched her petite figure vanished round the corner and away from my sight. Away from me. She ignored me when I called out her name innumerable times; it was as though she totally did not hear me. But she did. I knew she did hear me. And knowing this only hurt me even more.

That was how unforeseen circumstances always come about. Sudden and unexpected. One moment we were doing fine, just sitting and talking like the oldest of friends. Joking, laughing, enjoying the moment (at least for me). But unpredictable like things always were, she jumped up and dashed off in the blink of an eye in the middle of our conversation, without a slightest hint or indication. She left me stupefied in the wake of the dust she kicked up, in the lonely, gloomy shadows of the building. Of course, I tried to make myself go after her, but my legs failed me. So all I could do was to watch her run, away from me.

Without a single goodbye, or a brief glance back. At me.

Everything just happened so very quickly, unreeling like a movie fast-forwarded. At so fast a pace everything played out, that I could not properly register all that was said. But in the quiet silence that was left behind, I brooded over the conversation. Without her around, I feel lost and lonely, and confusion at why I was feeling that way. Gears in my head started cranking morbidly and painfully, with aching creaks that echoed my feelings.

_**_

_I frowned as I rubbed her hands furiously, determined to warm them up. But she was still incredibly, ridiculously icy. It was as though she was…a lifeless being._

_Yay Bella, to you and your wild imagination. 'What you were thinking was totally ridiculous', my brain chided me._

"_You're still cold…"_

_Unexpectedly, she let out a laughter, which threw me off all logical thinking. I glanced up at her with a quizzical look._

"_What?"_

_I could see that Alice was trying her best not to giggle, or snicker, I don't know which. I wouldn't mind if she did laugh; I love to hear her lilting voice tinkle in laughter, to hear her unique melody. But eventually, she still managed to contain her laughter, and replied with poise. Surprisingly. I expected her to be at the very least to be slightly breathless after her laughing fit._

"_My temperature has always been __slightly__ lower than…normal-"_

_Her reassurance was a thoughtful one for me. I guess she just doesn't want me to be worried for her. So sweet of her to do that. But not for herself. She should not play things down just so that she would not make me worried! The understatement amused me greatly, but it pissed me off more. Seriously. Her temperature was far lower than what one would consider normal. _

"_Slightly?! Are you __human__ or not?"_

_Originally meaning it as a joke, I blurted it out without thinking. As always. Little did I know that the word would have such a huge impact on her…_

_Alice seemed to have turned into a stone statue all of a sudden, and her cold hands only made her more so. Her grip on my hand was terrifyingly strong, and it was impossible for me to pull away. She was not even blinking; her eyes were wide with an incomprehensible mixture of emotions. And then her eyes…hardened. The look in them was cold and…frightening. I started feeling slightly frightened at what was happening. Even though I have no idea._

_I was at a total loss of what to do, while trying my best to comprehend the situation. Her reaction to my reply…scared me. Alice was one changed person upon hearing what I said, and it was then I knew that there was something wrong. Somewhere. But where exactly?!_

_I engaged in a furious struggle with myself to find my voice. I don't like this Alice, I want the old, bubbly Alice back. But I have completely no idea what was going on. It all started because of my comment on her not being a human…_

_Which brings me to another conclusion. _

_My breaths hitched as I linked all the events that had happened. Everything seems to fall into place._

_Does that mean…she really was not one? The idea seemed absurd, but judging from her expression, it was not impossible…_

_"...No?"_

_My voice was silent, less than a whisper. I had not expected it to be so soft, but it was the best I could manage. Even so, she heard me clearly, I knew. Her head dipped lower, and she tried to avoid my eyes. I did not realize that I was holding my breath too, and I exhaled shakily, while waiting for her response. A response that I found myself dreading to hear. A response that never escaped her mouth._

_"...Th-then?"_

_I tried to stop it, but I could not. My voice shook with hesitation, and I immediately knew that I hurt her because of that. Her defeated posture told me everything. I let go of one of her hands so that I could lift her head up. I wanted to see her eyes, to assure her, despite how frighten and scared I was right then. I wanted to run away, I wanted to scream, I wanted her to tell me that it was not true, I wanted to hear her laugh and assure me that she was just joking._

_Alice…she pulled her hands away from me, and made to withdraw them, to withdraw into her shell. She seemed to have given up everything. Retreat; that was what was on her mind. Into herself, into safe haven, into the pain and solitude within._

_I knew that I could not let her do so; something in me told me that. It was not some logic that told me that, but some unknown feeling, emotion, instinct that urged me to do that. To grab hold of her hands, and offer her reassurance in the form of my touch. And so I did. She was shocked, but she soon recovered. She turned her head away when I tried to make her look at me in the eyes. But I still saw the sorrow-filled orbs._

_She tried to hide her vulnerability, but not before I saw it. I knew that she was ashamed and upset, but it made me want to protect her, to save her from her pain. _

_It was a plea, a plea for her to let me in. A plea for her to trust me._

_"Alice..." _

_But she could not. She pushed me away. She ran off._

_She did not…trust me._

_**_

I felt hurt, offended and pained when she ran away, away from me. It was blatantly clear to me that she did not trust me. But she was not to be blamed, or was she?

Or was I the one who should be blamed? Blamed for bringing up a taboo topic. But it was not as if I had known about her…sensitivity to that topic. After all, she had barely known me for long, and we don't even have each other's numbers. She seemed really upset just now, and all I know is that it…it hurt me to see her that way.

It hurt me more than even how her strange reaction to my statement shook me. She was not a human.

But, I could not find a logical explanation to it. I mean, she looked no different from one, doesn't she? Two beautiful amber eyes, a nose and a mouth, gorgeous, petite figure, and breathtakingly beautiful! And she said she's not human?

Ridiculous, freaking ridiculous.

But…she did not look as though she was joking. And Alice…does not seem to be someone who would joke about such matters. If she was joking, she would not have taken off just like that, would she? No.

I don't care. I am going to find out who she really was, or what she was. Or should I say, _is._

I left the study corner approximately ten minutes after Alice. I went back to the gym, but Alice was nowhere in sight. After another ten minutes of desperate and futile search, I gave up and headed back outside to the parking lots. The sky was overcast, rain was imminent. It was funny how the weather could mirror people's moods sometimes. My red Honda was waiting for me in the crowded parking lots, and I immediately jumped in and drove off straight home.

I could not have reach home any faster, and that was saying a lot, seeing as I have always kept well within speed limits. But that day, was different. Vastly different. Unanswered question continually rang in my head; her face was constantly in my mind.

The moment I reached home, I went to my computer and start it up in a matter of minutes. After several attempts and play of words on the search engine, I finally found sensible results that tally with…well, Alice.

The bolded words "**T****he cold ones: Apotamkin**" immediately caught my attention the moment the search engine came up with all the results. It was at the very top of the list, and it was also the one I directed my cursor to.

A click.

I took in every word on the page, drinking them in with an insatiable thirst. My breath hitched as I took in the descriptions of this mythical creature.

…Undead…speed...inhuman strength…cold-skinned…immortal…drank blood…_vampire._

My grip tightened increasingly on my mouse as I registered and processed all that I have just read. Breathing heavily, I leaned back on my chair, stunned. I did not even notice that I was holding my breath for the past minute.

…_I called out her name, and then headed towards her with a smile playing on my lips. While making my hurried way to her, I collided painfully into the wooden table and lost my balance. In the blink of an eye, she was standing…in front of me. She…caught me…_

It fitted perfectly. The description, everything fitted perfectly. But…

I could not bring myself to believe it.

…"_You're still cold…"_

_Alice let out a laugh, a melodious, chiming laugh, to my shock and confusion._

"_What?"_

_She broke out into a fit of giggles, and fought hard to contain her amusement, though I still failed to understand what exactly was that humorous. _

"_My temperature has always been __slightly__ lower than…normal-"…_

No, unless she tells me personally, I would not accept it. I need to know the truth from her, and her alone. I could not accept what was on the screen in front of me.

_I look at her with wide, unblinking eyes, stunned at her reply._

"_Are you __human__ or not?"_

_I blurted out without thinking; but I had meant it as a joke. But I made a mistake, a grave mistake._

_Alice changed. She changed completely. She stiffened and tensed up. The gorgeous, molten gold in her eyes seemed to harden and solidify. Her hands had captured the most of my attention. _

_Her grip was horrifyingly strong on my hands._

No no NO.

It was not possible, it was not possible for werewolves or witches to exist, or any other mythological beings…Vampires do not exist in the real world!

But how could it all fit? Nothing could explain her reaction to my statement, her sorrow, her silence. Nothing could explain her ridiculously cold, cold, flawless and beautiful skin, her paleness, her speed, her quick reflexes and strength! Her…her _inhuman_ beauty.

Nothing but the webpage in front of me.

Alice was, _is, _a vampire.

Monday came, and I went back to work, as usual. But my mind did not. I have tried to push Alice to the back of my mind, but it was a futile attempt. I just could not get her out of my mind, no matter how much I try to.

I reached my office slightly later than usual. Driving with Alice in mind was not exactly the easiest thing to do. I did not have a good night sleep, for my dreams were continuously haunted with images of vampires and...Alice. One very vivid one has Alice approaching me with her fangs bared, stalking me like a predator.

And then she pounced.

Of course, I woke up. Shaking from head to toe. Drenched in cold sweat.

Opening my eyes, I realised that the light had turned green. A symphony of angry honks sounded from the cars behind me, with several irritated drivers who were cursing heavily at the hold up. I slammed my foot down on the accelerator almost immediately, at the same time trying hard to block out the angry shouts and the murderous glares coming from all around.

I dragged my distracted self to the office, and threw my body into the swivelling chair, not noticing at all the pile of new documents stacked rather neatly at one corner. Groaning, I lay flopped on the chair, my eyes closed to the world.

"So dead, Bella? Horrible weekend, huh?"

"Huh?" I sat up and blinked a few times at the figure leaning casually against the side of my desk, with her arms folded across her ample chest. Michelle. "Yea, you guessed it, boss."

She gave me a sympathetic look. "That's sad. But don't count on me for a day off. However much I want to give it to you, the clients won't be agreeable to it." She smiled.

"Clients?"

"The president of Parevim requested for a meeting with you this afternoon. I'm guessing it's a request for you to join their company. I don't know for sure; but it seems to me that it will be to your favour."

Parevim...my heart skipped a beat when that word came up. That means I would get a chance to see Alice again. Provided that she still wants to see me.

"Oh yea, before I forget. The photos are ready. Bring down the photos too, will you? Since you're going down and all..." Michelle winked with a lopsided smile. As always, her subtle way of wishing me luck.

I gave her a grateful smile, a muttered "thanks" and a brief, silent nod. The thought of seeing Alice again made my mouth dry and rendered me incapable of speech. I have completely no idea on what I should say when I see her. That is, if I do get to see her. I really do not want to push her even further away from me.

Michelle, seeing that I was very much distracted for the moment, gave me a pat on the shoulder and headed back to her office. The soft click of her door woke me from my dazed musing.

I went about work as usual in the morning; planning for photo shoots, leafing through several proposals and agendas, the usual. The only exception was the fact that I was very distracted throughout the entire morning. I was anxious, nervous and apprehensive; but not with the meeting. Okay, maybe not exactly. It was not with the meeting with the president that got my stomach swarming with butterflies. It was the possibility of meeting Alice.

The noon came sooner and faster than I had thought. Some part of me was actually...dreading what could have been coming. And the fact that everything was all up to fate scared me even more.

I was plunging into the unknown, I knew. And I braced myself for that as I slide into my Honda with my equipment, start the engine, and drive off. Into the unknown. My feelings were confusing me.

I was scared; but unafraid.

I was hesitant; yet determined.

I drove slower than usual; partly because of my distracted mind, and because I dreaded what there was to come. Alice. A part of me really wanted to see her again, wanted to reassure her that there was nothing wrong. But this part of me could not control the other half that wanted to avoid her, to escape from reality, to escape from _her_. The part that screams avoidance.

Lost. Confused. Contradicting.

My heart told me to go ahead and not to fear. But my heart, feared rejection. I was confused. I have no idea why she was able to mess me up like that; to throw my nerves and my train of thoughts all over the place.

I don't know. I don't know anything.

Except for one.

All I know was that...I really wanted to see her. And not just _again_.


	7. Mental Block

A.N: Meh, reviews seemed to have dwindled quite a bit =( I value your comments, so please, feel free to leave a review! Be it ideas for the story's development, or for any improvements, I welcome them=) And a sincere thank you to all those who have done so!

Enjoy! =)

Chapter 7

**APOV**

**

_There was no way my legs could have taken me faster away from Bella in my frantic, fumbling state; not unless I want to throw all façade down the drain with so many people around. I went back to the gym, spotted Edward, and grabbed him. Turning around, he looked into my eyes, his face a picture of confusion as he attempted to decipher the mad rush of thoughts in my head. I could not bring myself to speak coherently, so I sieved out my memories and did my best to go through them one by one in an organized manner so that he would be able to catch on. I watched the changes happening on his face, the frown of concentration, and the steady widening of his eyes as my thoughts progress._

_Then, finally, my mind snapped back to reality, and he looked as though he had taken a hard blow to the head. I motioned towards the exit, and Edward gave me a stiff nod. The two of us weaved fluidly through the crowd, barely making contact with the humans around. Grey skies greeted us as we emerged into the open car park. Electricity-charged storm clouds seemed to gather in a riot, rumbling and grumbling, blocking out whatever little sunlight there was. It seemed to me that the happy celebration would soon ended up a cold, wet one. How fitting for the situation._

_We got into Edward's silver Volvo, and the entire journey was just…strained silence. I was stoning, literally, staring blankly forward but not looking at anything in particular. Edward has a particularly serious look carved onto his pale, stone face; he just directed the car at high speed towards home without so much of a glance at me. I knew that we need to talk, like seriously, but it was not the time for it. Silence reigned, save for the roar of the Volvo and the occasional boom of the thunder._

_A silver blur streaked into the open garage and took its place next to a yellow Chevrolet. My beloved car. Edward's present to me. I wondered whether he was having second thoughts about the gift; his expression was completely incomprehensible. I smacked my head lightly. Blame it on my faulty _Sight_, if not, I would have been able to see what he was going to tell me when we reach my room. Well, I would have been able to see that _that_ would take place, and would have found some way to get away from Bella! Then all that would not have taken place, and we would not be stuck in such an awkward situation! Ah, but what was the point of complaining, it had already taken place. And it seemed to me that my Sight would not be returning any moment soon. I felt handicapped; he obviously still has his mind-reading ability, and usually, my _Sight_ would place us on equal footing. But now…_

_He seemed to be reading my thoughts at that very moment, for a sympathetic eye of his roved over to my direction but flitted back almost immediately. I pretended not to notice, and headed back to my room. I knew that he would let me have a few moments alone to collect my thoughts before he initiate the talk. He was always a gentleman, my brother. But it would also benefit him. Allowing me time to sort through my musings help to ease the flow of the brainwaves, and thus enable him to 'read' better and clearer. And then he would have a clearer idea of what happened. _

_And so, he did gave me my alone time. After fifteen minutes, a soft knock was heard on the door, and that alarmed me slightly. I was distracted and lost in my thoughts, and had caught neither his soft footfalls nor his scent. _

_Wait, I wasn't even breathing. Damn Alice, you really should be paying more attention to your surroundings._

_Being handicapped was such a disadvantage._

_Edward slid into the room fluidly and once again, took a seat in my comfy couch of red velvet, leaning back languidly and crossing his legs. _

"_So sis, what are you going to do about it?"_

_I bet he already knew the answer before I open my mouth. And so he did._

"_Carlisle…I need his advice."_

"_On your _Sight, yes. _And on the possible revelation of our…kind. But I'm not bothered about these two; I'm sure Carlisle will be able to settle them fine. I'm more concerned about you, Alice. Your love life."_

_I showed him the whites of my eyes and flipped onto my back._

"_I don't even-"_

"_Uh-uh. Don't get started. You know whatever comes out of your mouth will be a lie. Or at least, will soon be. You have lived long enough to recognize the signs, have you not? Even though you may not have gone through it yourself, hmm?"_

_Seeing that I have opened my mouth to protest, he smoothly continued._

"_I have not either; I know. But that does not prevent me from being observant to the first signs of a…budding relationship. You deserved to find someone good, Alice, after all your life spent single."_

_I just kept silent. I knew myself enough; I was, indeed, rather interested in Bella, her personality, and even…her life. I even wondered whether she was single, and I really hope so. But, we're…_

"_Both women? Don't worry, Alice. Society is not so close-minded like how it was in the past. Anyway, I think two women together in a relationship is cool, not to mention, _sexy," _Edward grinned, with his eyes flashing mischievously. _

_I laughed, and realized that I felt much better after hearing that from him. That was why I love my brother so much; he never failed to make me laugh, and he would always be there whenever I feel down. _

_And maybe Edward was right. Now, I just need to find one more thing._

_Love. _

_**_

Boots clacked resoundingly against cold, marble floor as I trotted briskly down the hallways towards the lift, mind blank and exhausted. My mind has been far from peaceful after what happened yesterday at Forks high school hundredth anniversary celebrations. It seemed to choose escape and denial, for my mind seemed to run away from every single thing and avoid all it could after what happened. Run from truth; shy away from reality; hide from all existence. A mental block has, unknowingly, settled around my mind and my heart. That was not supposed to be taken literally, mind you; my heart has long ceased to beat.

For whatever reason why the mental block came about, I don't know. I only became aware of it after pouring my feelings out to Carlisle yesterday night.

**

"_Um…Carlisle?"_

"_Yes, Alice? What's wrong?_

_Carlisle was as intuitive as usual. His warm, sincere smile calmed me considerably, and my shoulders relaxed. I had not even realize that I was almost bristling in an over-defensive mode for the past…how many hours, I don't know. _

"_I…need to talk to you."_

"_I understand." A brief, simple nod and another smile. "Come, sit down."_

_I settled myself down in front of the desk in his study, with him already seated on the opposite side. The setting eerily reminded me of visiting psychologists, where they would hypnotize you and make you pour out your deepest, darkest secret. I shivered, visibly._

"_Relax," Carlisle leaned forward in a fatherly sort of way, and his eyes twinkled from his ever-so-slight smile. "Take your time and tell me what's wrong."_

_I looked into the golden swirl of his eyes, and drawing strength from the compassion within, breathed out all that I have felt and went through ever since I met Bella to him. Throughout my rapid retelling of the incident, he kept quiet, eyes drawn to his twiddling fingers, only letting out the occasional "mmm" and "ahh" to show that he was still listening. I appreciated his silence and the encouraging nods that he gave during my long speech, and I felt slightly better after letting everything all out, including my worries about the fatigue my mind was feeling, my distant self and my faulty ability to foresee the future. _

_After blurting everything out, I let my head fall into my hands, elbows on the desk, shoulders slumped in defeat. A void has replaced the spilt feelings within me; I felt so empty, so useless. All I could do then was to wait, wait for Carlisle words of advice, comfort, reprimand; whichever was to come._

"_Alice…"_

_I looked up. Gold and gold clashed._

"_Firstly, let's address the problem with your foresight. I do not think that your suddenly loss of the ability is something very worrying, especially since you are not exactly feeling your best currently. Which leads me to think that the loss of the ability is linked to your emotional distress. Hmm…you did mention something about feeling disconnected from the world?"_

"_Um…you mean feeling distant?"_

"_Yes. And fatigue of the mind?"_

_I nodded, but I could not see how those could be linked to my ability. He continued, in his low, calming voice. _

"_Well, I have a theory, but I am not completely sure of it. Anyway, I think that under all these stress and pressure you have been feeling, your mind subconsciously put up a mental barrier to protect itself. And at the same time, the mind blocks out the ability to receive vibes and flashes of the future. That is why, I think, you are unable to see into the future like how you used to. Well, that, and your unstable emotions."_

_I let his words washed over me. I could see what Carlisle meant. With all the stress that I have been facing, my mind's defensive mechanism had kicked in and erected a mental barrier to protect itself from any further pressure. And by doing so, it involuntarily blocks out its ability to see the future, for foresight require the mind to go beyond itself, which the mental barrier had conveniently prevented it from doing so. . And if the problem really lies in the stress, then I supposed I would be able to regain my sight the moment I free myself from the pressure. Knowing that certainly made me feel much better._

"_As for Bella…"_

_My attention snapped back onto Carlisle. _

"_The only thing we can do now is to wait for her reaction to the news. She's a smart girl, I'm sure that she will somehow figure it out. Logically speaking, you did not break any rule, even if she did find out; because you did not tell her directly, so don't worry so much. But there's nothing much we can do now, except to wait."_

"_But…but, what if she…" Words died. _

"_Then all you can do is to stay away. Of course, you must tell her not to spread the secret. But if she is unwilling to accept it, then there's nothing we can do but back off."_

_He paused, and then looked back into my eyes with a deep, penetrating stare._

"_Remember, Alice. There's nothing you can do now. It's her choice."_

**

A familiar smell hit me as I stood waiting for the elevator, but I could not figure out who it was from the scent, despite raking through the turmoil in my head as much as I could. My brain was just…too tired.

Not meaning it in the literal sense of the word.

I was tired of the world, of everything around me, of existence. The devil in me was tempting me; trying to lure me into throwing everything away, to rid myself of all burdens and just lock myself up alone, away from the world.

Of course, whatever rationality left (not much) in me fought back, and manage (just barely) to keep me going forward in my life, strapping me down and restraining me, holding me down to reality.

I sighed.

Everything seems to be happening slower than usual, torturously slow. Ever since…Sunday.

The talk with Edward set off a chain of thoughts in my mind, and now even I don't understand myself. And my feelings…

It hurt to even think about it. I've spent the rest of yesterday (after my escapade) meditating and hunting to take my mind off the incident; to distract myself from the pain, or at least, to numb it. The possibility of losing a potential _true_ friend, _human_ friend, hurt more than I had imagined. Especially when the friend in question is Bella.

Friend, huh?

Though I have not known Bella for long, the several brief encounters with her was as though I had known her for all of eternity.

Aside from the slight burning of my throat, I felt at ease with her.

And I had hoped that we could get to know each other better. I crave for someone, someone who would care for me dearly, someone whom I would be able to talk to, spend time with. And till now, I have yet to find someone like that.

Except for her. And now, I risk losing her from my life completely. I understood from Carlisle that I _have _to let go if she turn away from me, but…saying is much easier than actually _doing._

The lift doors slid open at an achingly slow pace, and the sweet scent overpowered me so much that I was struggling with all my might to keep my senses clear.

And there, in the lift, was the last person I wanted to see at that moment.

Bella Swan.

I stopped breathing. All human pretenses fell.

Her eyes widened. Obviously, the sight of me shocked her as much as how she shocked me. I did not expected to see her at all, nor do I had the slightest inkling what she was doing there. But that was not the most crucial thing on my mind.

Waves raged in my head.

The expression on her face was once again, unfathomable. I have no idea why my mood sank to the pits all of a sudden, and why I found myself unable to look at her, unable to even face her. Whipping around in a slow, painful pull away from her, I tried to march off towards the staircase.

Something held me back.

I looked down. Bella had caught hold of my arm. Her grip, though tensed, was weak against my granite skin, but I could feel her desperation, her trembles, her pleas from the contact. My chest tightened; my muscles tensed. The last thing I wanted to do was to lose control of myself.

I stopped in my tracks, reluctant to drag her along with me (which would definitely happen if I continue, for her grip was unrelenting). But I did not turn to look at her.

"Alice…"

Her voice…

"Alice…listen to me…please."

"Sorry, I-I'm busy at the moment."

Her grip loosened slightly, but she did not let go of my arm. I could almost feel hot-sharp pain where her burning skin touch my ice-cold one.

"Then…then, can we meet somewhere after you are done with your work? I-if it's convenient for you…"

"I'll see how things g-go." My voice, though I tried my best to keep it controlled, came out cold and…shook slightly near the end. I have no idea how long more could I keep myself under control.

"O-okay, erm, I'll be waiting…at the Starbucks opposite the bookstore at 6.30p.m…until you arrive…"

Not knowing how to answer, I gave a stiff nod. I felt her hand pull away, and my body screamed reluctance. Slight rustling and fumbling told me that she was rummaging about in her bag for something, though I have no idea what it was that she was frantically searching for. The next thing I knew, her hand clasped mine briefly. The sudden touch caught me unguarded; and I jumped at the heat of her skin. I guessed she noticed, for she pulled away.

Only after about five seconds did I realize Bella had taken the chance to slip a small, crumpled piece of paper, hastily torn from a notebook, into my palm. Smoothing it out, I immediately realized that it was her contact number. Finally, I decided to turn to face her.

But…she was gone. She had headed down the hallway hastily, almost tripping over her feet, and…was gone.


	8. Fears, Fears and Fears

_A.N: So, common tests are over. And I can safely say that I messed up my math paper royally. Meh. Anyway, I wrote this when my inspiration for this story came back all of a sudden =) Yay. Though it's shorter than usual, I hope you guys willl enjoy it! Rest assure that the next chapter will be of reasonable length xD As usual, please review! A big cookie to all who review, and let's see who will be the lucky hundredth reviewer!_

_Okay, enough babbling from me. Here you go!_

**Chapter 8****BPOV**

After my hasty retreat from the awkwardness of the situation, I headed to the office of the president of Parevim distractedly. Actually, not exactly. I did not head there straight away. The place was _huge. _It took me a good few minutes of wandering around before I spotted a sign that pointed me in the right direction. It was lucky that, as usual, I reached thirty minutes earlier. Occasionally, a flustered soul would rush pass me with tired-looking eyes and ruffled hair, but before I could open my mouth to ask for directions, they were gone. If only I could ask Alice to bring me there. But it was a blatant fact that she would not agree to it, even if I had the guts to bring up the question.

Whatever nerves I had about the meeting were gone; or they just could not be compared to the nerves I had felt during the bump-in with Alice. Nothing could.

The moment the lift doors had opened to reveal Alice standing there, my heart almost leaped out of my mouth. I could have died from how hard my heart was beating, no, _hammering _against my ribcage. Happiness flooded me when I first saw her, followed by a wave of nervousness, then a tsunami of fears. Fear that she would run out of my life then and there. I saw the pain in her eyes as she turned away from me, as though she could not bear to even look into my face. But there was no way I was going to let her walk, run, or escape from me again. _No way. _It hurt to see her running away from me, and I would be damned to let that happen again.

I rushed out of the lift and instinctively grabbed her. My fingers closed tightly around her wrist; pleadingly, silently asking her to stay. I don't know whether the numbness of my hand was a result of my tight grasp or the her cold skin, but I did not let go. Neither did I recoil from the coldness. I was no longer insensitive to her feelings; at least, now that I know of her true identity. Her reaction on Sunday had told me enough that she never liked who she was; and if given a choice, she would rather not be _what _she was.

I felt her hard, granite-like skin, and that further confirmed my assumptions.

Alice, really was a vampire. But, my heart did not sank at that confirmation.

A fact hit me; it did not matter to me anymore. Whether Alice was a human, a werewolf or a vampire no longer mattered to me. I don't care anymore. What mattered to me was that she does not walk out on me again. Or walk _away _from me.

I braced myself; prepared for Alice to toss me away like a ball of paper. Surprisingly, she stopped in her tracks. For a moment, I thought that she would flung me away, but she did not. My heart warmed a little at that.

I made a complete fool of myself, stuttering and mumbling. I knew that I could not show that I feared her; I _knew_, no matter how much I really do deep inside. If I let my insecurities show, Alice would turn away from me forever. And I could not risk that, I could not risk letting her out of my life _for good_. Which was why I tried to keep the fear and the hurt out of my voice; but I knew that it was not completely successful.

In my last, vain attempt, I hastily scrawled my number down into a blank page on my notebook, and ripped it off mercilessly. As I grabbed her ice-cold hand, I took the liberty to slip the paper into her grasp. And then I ran off, away from her. Cowardly.

My footsteps echoed and resounded in the vast hallway as I made my way down it. Dark…light…dark…light. Passing by the endless rows of windows, my thoughts seem to alternate between two extremes with the light. Negative thoughts of Alice pushing me away filled my head one minute; and the next, the bleak possibility of her being calm enough to listen to what I have to say. But the latter did not last long, for the next moment Alice would have escape from me again.

All because I could not bring out the guts to say it. Even if it was all in my mind.

I have no idea how to start the conversation. Refering to the _talk _as 'conversation' probably made it sounded like some casual, catch-up talk. The irony of it. I let out the breath which I was holding in.

Strangely, I thought that I could have left my mind back at the lift lobby. Well, there was this possibility. Nothing else would explain why I could not seem to think properly. I must have left at least a few screws from my brain back there.

It was pretty obvious that Alice was trying to avoid me, or at least, avoid me face-to-face. I could not deny that it hurt me quite a bit, but I could empathize with her. Her innermost secret was accidentally revealed to someone whom she was barely even close to. It was pretty understandable why she was so reluctant to face me. She was the indestructible, powerful, _gorgeous _vampire. I was the meek, feeble, weak, _cowardly _human. It hurt to think of how vastly different we were.

But still, the fact that she did not trust me enough _hurt _me the most. And the way she treated me...

Her face was so…_emotionless. _But her voice…it was dripping with _venom. _The coldness in it froze me, more than the contact with her cold skin. Her voice chilled my heart.

I found myself babbling _nonsense _in her beauty. Why did I not just speak the truth? There was no one else around! I could have just told her that I was not afraid of her, that I accept her for who she was, and save her the pain. But I did not. Why?! Because of _fear? _Because I was too cowardly? Yes, all yes.

Ah…but Bella, you made a fool of yourself _again._

And deep in my musings, my legs had unknowingly brought me to the door of the office. Taking a deep breath, I (tried to) pushed Alice to the back of my head (no matter how difficult it was), and brought my fist up to the door. I knew that I should not be worrying about what I was supposed to do with Alice. At least, not when I have an apparently important meeting with the president of the company where Alice work.

The moment I opened the door, a mask was fixated on my face. A mask that hid my turmoil, my weaknesses, my lack of confidence. A mask that shielded my thoughts. A mask that allowed me to smile and nod politely to the president, who greeted me with a broad (unprofessional) grin of his own as he welcomed me.

There were no other words to describe the man, except the word _straightforward. _Immediately after I took my seat, he extended the invitation to me to join the company. All the while, as I nodded and plastered a fixed smile on my face, the president chattered away, offering me what he thought was attractive benefits that I would receive when (if) I join Parevim.

But none of them; whether a doubling of the pay or the promise of newest, top-notch equipment; could be compared to the chance to see Alice _every, single, day_.

That, of course, was the gain to me that he would never know.

Of course, I did not throw all professionality into the drain just because I was distracted by my thoughts throughout the entire meeting. I did not forget the photos, which were safely stuffed in my bag. The photos that were shot on the day when I met Alice for the second time. The photos that were taken between secret peeps and glances at the beautiful figure seated a distance away. The photos that were shot _for _that beautiful, gorgeous person.

I presented them to him, and he eagerly started browsing through them, with little 'oohs' and 'ahs' that rather annoyed me. My mind involuntarily drifted back to that day, and I made no attempts to rein it back in. The president's voice was a mere buzz at the back of my head then. The only thing that I could really remember throughout our meeting was his delighted exclamations about how wonderful the shots are, and his marveling at how great the angles were, and his incessant compliments on how talented I was.

The only thing that I could bring myself to do was to smile weakly in response; honestly, I don't give a damn about his opinions at that moment. I only cared about what Alice would say, and how she would react to the photos. Did I capture what she wanted to bring out? Did I brought out the effect and the feelings that she wanted to bring across? Would she be impressed by the photos?

Bella, you hopeless idiot.

I did not pay any attention to what he said after that, and in the end, when we shook hands, I felt as though I barely registered half of what he had said. I only caught words like "next Monday", "keep in touch" and "thank you". And all I could bring myself to do was to paint a smile on my face and nod my head dumbly.

I guessed that meant I was accepted into the company. Which was amazing considering that an observant person would have noticed that I was not exactly very attentive and enthusiastic during the meeting, which, truth be told, bored me.

But, looking on the brighter side, that would mean that I would be able to see Alice every single day.

Which indirectly meant that the _date _(was it a date?) later, _must _go well, no matter what, or else…

Alice would be avoiding me for the next few years to come. And it would be pointless for me to work in that company; it would only be more painful for me.

I headed back out into the sunlight, my heart heavy. Getting back into the car, I stared at the huge building in front of me for about five minutes, wondering what would come on Monday; and fearing what would come _later_. The tall, towering structure looked cold and intimidating.

And Alice was concealed somewhere, in its unfeeling, emotionless body.

The drive back to the office took longer than usual. And the silence in the car was deafening. I even failed to notice my pet car's usual loud growls and purrs, just the unearthing silence within.

"Bella!" The exclamation caused me to jump in fright while I was stowing my equipment under the table. I heard a sickening loud thud as my head collided painfully into the desk.

"OW!!!"

"Oh gosh, sorry Bella! I didn't mean to startle you! Are you all right?"

Michelle scuttled over to me, guiltily biting her lower lip and offered to help me up. I grasped her hand gratefully and leaned my weight onto my left elbow, which I had rested on the seat of my chair.

Only thing was that, I had forgotten that my chair had _wheels._

"AH CRAP!" My hand slipped out of Michelle's grip, and I landed on the floor painfully on my butt as the chair rolled away.

"Seriously, Bella." The woman was trying her best not to chuckle and to keep a straight face as she helped me up, this time without any further accidents.

I shot her a look to warn her not to leak a word to my colleagues. They knew me long enough to know how accident-prone I was. I was not really very happy that they even gave me a title for it (which was nothing glamorous); I was termed the "accident magnet". Thankfully, they were all out on assignments today and were not present to witness that little disaster. _Thankfully._

But give it a few days, and the whole company would know about it. Somehow. My forehead furrowed and my lips, pouted.

Michelle pretended not to notice the look I was giving her and hurried to fetch my escaped chair, which was still happily rolling away towards freedom. It did not take her long to come back with the swiveling chair and a straight face. I took it from her with a muttered "thanks" and sat down gingerly.

Michelle cleared her throat.

"So, how did the meeting went?"

Exactly the question that I had expected. She could be so very predictable at times. But still, her words carried a formidable force in them that knocked me straight down.

"Monday," was my quiet reply.

She nodded in understanding. I bet she had already known what was about to happen when the president personally requested for a meeting with me. I had forgotten the countless number of times she had joked about some other company buying me over and how she must chain me up and declare me property. Now, it had finally become reality.

She did not pester me for more details; but instead, placed a soft, warm and reassuring hand on my shoulders.

"I knew that one day this would happen," I looked up at her, and saw her soft smile. "Reluctant though I am to let you go, but I still will. You are our most brilliant photographer, and no doubt helped us pulled in quite a number of projects," She chuckled. "But I would not appreciate your talent being wasted here. This is a rare opportunity, Bella, and you should grasp it tightly. I know that Parevim is the best of the best in this area in all aspects, and I have no doubt that you will go further than you imagine by working there."

Her sincerity stumped me, and I could not think of how to reply. And that was why I liked Michelle so much and enjoyed working with her; she was a brilliant boss. No, make that _friend._

"Continue to work hard yeah? It has been my greatest pleasure being able to work with you. And remember to keep in touch." A warm, genuine smile graced her features.

"T-the pleasure's all mine, Mich." I was deeply touched be her words, and was trying hard not to let my voice shake. "Thank you so much for being such a wonderful boss, a great friend; I really appreciate everything."

"You're welcome Bella; but we still have four more days together, so I expect you to give your best and not slacken just because you're leaving, yes?"

"No worries, _Mich!"_

The lady slapped my arm playfully, and then trooped back into her office. The click of her office door signalled the fall of my cheery façade, and my insecurities, fears and chagrin rushed back to the surface with full force.

The rest of the day inched by torturously. My fears kept distracting me from my reading, from my work, from my job. What if Alice chose not to show up? What if she chose not to listen, and just push me away? Fears, fears, fears.

And finally, I left the office at six, my mind still whirling with fears.

I planted myself at Starbucks earlier then the set time, at six fifteen, with a clear view of the main door, waiting for her to show up. Waiting to see her familiar face; her small, bubbly figure. Waiting for the moment. Building up my courage for it. For Alice.

Each time the bells tinkle joyously, I could not help but felt as though they were mocking me for my naivety, for my foolishness. Each time the door swung open, my hopes went up. And with each time the door closed to an ominous silence, my mood fell lower than before.

People came and went, but I remained constant. Constantly unchanging. Constantly waiting alone, constantly sipping on my steadily cooling cup of (initially) hot cuppucino in my vain attempt to calm my nerves; constantly checking my handphone, constantly sighing in disappointment.

Six thirty passed…seven…seven fifteen…eight…eight forty-five…

The clock seemed to be teasing me too; in fact, the whole world seemed to be laughing at me for my child-like naiveness that she would show up. But I chose to stand alone against them; I held on to my belief, my hopes, my wishes. I held on to my trust in Alice.

My knuckles were white from my tight grip on my handphone. I hoped, prayed and waited for a call of reassurance, or even a text message from Alice that she would be late. But none came.

Not a single peep came; not a single buzz.

My worst fears seemed to be coming true.

Alice was never going to come.


	9. Hesitations

_A.N: Yay, finally I can update! A shorter chapter than usual, but I think this is the chapter that you people have all been anxiously waiting for, haha. All right, enjoy!_

_And please do review and make me happy! xD Congratulations to Inlovex for being the lucky hundredth reviewer! Yay! And plenty of thanks to all others who had reviewed! I love you people!_

**Chapter 9: Hesitations**

**APOV**

"DAMN IT!"

I scrawled with all my might on the design in anger, and crushed the paper up in frustration and flung it into the overflowing waste paper bin, where it landed neatly atop the pile of paper balls. Growling slightly, I let my head fall onto the desk in defeat.

Should I go…

Or not?

I have locked myself up in the office ever since six, trying to take my mind off Bella, distracting myself by furiously churning out new designs for the next season collection. Distracting myself from the time as it ticked closer, distracting myself from the urge to meet her. Distracting myself so that I would not go to Starbucks and face everything I do not want to face.

The questions kept coming back to haunt me, and I was just so sick and tired of everything. My fears swirled and crashed like waves in me, and it was getting so bad that I felt nauseous. And why does my heart ache so badly?

Edward was right; there was _more _to my feelings towards Bella than just platonic friendship.

But I could not do anything about it, could I?

I was afraid to face rejection.

Which was why I was still stuck in the office, still contemplating whether to meet _her, _or not.

Almost everyone else had left, headed back home to have dinner with their loved ones. Driving back wearily, entering a safe, warm haven to hugs and kisses from their partners, to squeals of their children. Returning back to a scrumptious meal prepared by their family, be it their parents or their other half.

And me?

I have the overflowing dustbin as a companion.

Always, always, I ask myself; what life would be like if I was a normal human being, untainted by vampire venom. To be able to lead a normal life, one which I could be true to myself and all around me, a life without immortality was what I always dream of. A life without pretenses.

A life in which I could be with anyone I like, not fearing that they will reject me because of my true self.

A life where love actually exist.

For me.

A slight buzzing interrupted my thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Alice."

"Yes, Edward?"

"…Seems like you still have not let go of your mental dam. You really can't see what I am about to say?"

I closed my eyes, frowning, but nothing came; just pure darkness.

"...no…"

I heard a sigh on the other end.

"Alice, this can't go on."

"….I know."

"Then?"

"She…she…I met her today."

"You did?! What happened?"

"She gave me her number…and…"

"And what?!"

"She asked me to meet her tonight at Starbucks, 6.30."

"Wait, 6.30? ALICE CULLEN, it is now 8.30! And you are still not there with her yet? What are you doing? Where are you?"

I pulled the mobile away from my ears slightly when Edward raised his voice. Damn, how could he forget that I was not a human? I could hear him perfectly even if he had whispered. And he practically shouted my ears off.

"Um…office."

"WHAT? Alice, why aren't you moving your ass there?!"

I kept silent. Edward growled in frustration.

"Look sister, I know you are scared. HELL, you are a vampire! And you are scared of her?"

"I'm not."

I tried to sound indignant, but failed miserably.

"Humor me, sis. You are afraid of rejection."

He had hit the nail right on the head. Right on my head. Ouch

"…mm…"

"Listen, Alice. From what I know, I doubt that Bella will reject you for who you are. If she is any turned off by you being _what you are_, she would not have asked you to meet her to tell you that. AND SHE PASSED YOU HER NUMBER TOO. If I am not wrong, she really wants to keep you as a friend. I don't know about your feelings though. But if you don't make the next move, and that is to meet her, I doubt that you will even have her as a friend."

I hung up. I have heard enough. Enough to make me run all the way down to my car, praying that Bella was staying true to her promise.

"_O-okay, erm, I'll be waiting…at the Starbucks opposite the bookstore at 6.30p.m…until you arrive…"_

I revved my Chevy up, and zipped out of the parking lot. My mind was blank, except for one thing: Bella.

To hell with traffic rules and regulations; I sped my way through the streets, navigating the car professionally and weaving in and out through the heavy traffic. Annoyed honks and curses were thrown after me, but I left them all behind. Nothing mattered now.

My eyes darted to the digital clock on my dashboard; 8.54pm. _Bella, wait for me..._

Would she have the patience? Would she stay true to her promise?

I slammed my weight onto the brake with urgency, and my Chevy slowed to a screeching halt right in front of the café. In any normal circumstance I would have been impressed at the toughness of my Chevy, but not now.

I leaped out of the car in a flash, and stood facing the ominous looking tinted glass door of the café, trying to build up the courage to go in. What if she had… My breathing stopped.

Slowly, carefully, I pushed the door open. I shut my eyes when bells sounded in a joyful jingle. I stepped in, still with my eyes tightly shut to the world.

All I could see was pitch-black darkness. No vision, not a single one, came.

I was on my own. It was either she was still here, or not.

Hoards of noises and voices raged around me, leading my feelings in a chaotic rumble. My stomach was tightly knotted, so tightly; that I was feeling nauseated. I was even starting to feel stupid standing there with my eyes closed, stationary like some statue.

The next moment, someone _ambled_ into me. A small gasp was heard.

My eyes shot open in surprise. And there, directly in front of me, was Bella. Looking at me with new-found astonishment.

I glanced down; she had just packed up and was about to leave. But I was standing right in front of the door. Apparently, she had not seen me until she walked right into me. And that was when she looked up and realized that I had (finally) reached.

And her eyes…they were swollen, watery and red. Looking at me with shock, and an…incomprehensible emotion in the watery depths.

The next moment, brown hair invaded my vision, and I inhaled in surprised. Her sweet scent washed over me; intoxicating me, drugging my senses. She had just thrown herself on me. I heard sniffles…she was crying.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the man at the counter eying me with curiosity and slight suspicion. Feeling uncomfortable in his scrutinizing look, I looked away, and noticed a table for two stowed in the shadows, away from prying eyes.

"Um…we should sit down…"

She pulled away from me, but did not look me in the eye again. I was quite reluctant when she did though. After a moment of debating, I took her by the hand and gently led her to the table in the corner. She clasped mine back gently, and I was quite reluctant to let her hand go as we each took a seat.

I dared myself to let my eyes flit over to her face every few seconds. I guessed that she too, was doing the same; for occasionally, our eyes would meet, but as soon as that had happened, both of us would simultaneously look away the next moment. It was all like an episode from one of those melodramatic drama series that Esme always watch.

After five minutes of awkward silence, I could not take it anymore.

"I thought you said you would wait until I arrive?"

She remained quiet.

"Why, too afraid that I will morph into a monster and shred you to bits?"

I regretted the moment the harsh words were spewed. I was hurt that she did not wait, but had made to leave.

"…you are not a monster."

_So she did not hate me. Or maybe, she was just sympathetic. _I glared at my fists, angry at myself for the harsh, unfeeling words. It was not her fault, and I should not have gotten overly emotional.

"Then? What else can I be?"

The bitter note in my voice made Bella cringed. She looked up, tears swimming in her eyes.

"You are just…a lonely vampire."

She whispered the last word softly, but to me, it was as if someone had shouted it right into my ears.

"I'm glad you found out," I could not help the thick sarcasm seeping into my words. "Don't worry, I'll make sure that I stay far away from you now."

Again, the bitterness weaved and snaked its way into my voice, despite my thorough efforts to control and suppress it. I hate appearing needy and weak. I hate showing her that…I need her. I hate to let her see what she was capable of doing to me.

She looked at me with hurt and surprise in her eyes.

"Why?"

"Would you rather hang out with a scary old vampire?"

A sudden moment of realization struck her. But I was never expecting her to flare up. Never.

"A vampire?" She spat out harshly in a low voice, her watery eyes flashing with anger. She looked anything but attractive at the moment. "So what if you are one? You want to stay away from me because of that? And you think that I am going to avoid you like you are some diseased person? You can never be more wrong, Alice Cullen. Don't get so full of yourself."

I was taken aback by the venom in her voice. She whipped her head away from me, and chose to glare out of the cold glass pane. Her venom dripped painfully on the wounds of my aching heart.

"Bella…I'm sorr-"

"Don't apologize, Alice; you have nothing to apologize for. I'm not going to stay away from you, if that is what you want; whether you like it, or not."

"Wh-"

"You ask why? I will tell you why. Because you are not as frightening as you think; sorry to bust your pride. I am not afraid of you," Bella paused for a breath, then continued, her eyes boring into mine.

"Because I like you."

The emotions in her words knocked me back, rendering me quite speechless. A thousand and one thoughts and emotions flooded through me, and I was so overwhelmed, so very overwhelmed. By happiness, by joy, by any happy emotion that could ever exist in the world. But my disobedient face chose not to reflect any of that, but instead rebel with a blank look.

Bella looked at me uncertainly while I stoned in my seat, although I was screaming in elation on the inside. On a side note, it was quite amusing to see her fiery passion die down so fast, replaced by her insecurities. That I would soon take care of.

I reached forward, and she withdrew back, as though afraid that I would strike her. Carefully, I allowed myself to touch her burning cheek lightly so as not to bruise her face, and wiped off a tear as it rolled down. And all the while, she remained stunned and stiff, exhaling heavily as I allow myself to caress her cheek gently.

Then, she broke into a soft smile and stood up. I had first thought that she was about to leave the café or something for an unknown reason or another. But I certainly was not expecting her to walk around the table and… her to plop herself onto my lap.

Neither was I expecting her to wrap her arms around my neck and…place her lips upon mine.

It was only five seconds later did my mind fully registered that she was kissing me. I could barely feel the pressure of her soft lips, only the burning warmth they emanate. And I could not deny that they warmed me up entirely. Her fire burned and lapped and chased away all my paranoia, my insecurities, my fears, my inhibitions. To love.

Gently, I brought up the courage to wrap my arms around her waist lightly, though I was slightly afraid that I would bruise or break her. She felt so fragile, so soft, so vulnerable in my arms. She tasted so sweet, so tempting, so intoxicating to my lips. Every cell, every atom in my body was screaming in joy. I longed to pull her in closer, to hold her tight; but I was afraid that I would break her. So I just contented myself with the feeling of her lips against me.

She pulled away a moment later with a smile, though her delicate arms remained around my neck.

"I'm sorry"

"What for?"

"For doubting that you would come."

"There's no need to be sorry for that, silly."

I gave her a small smile, and placed my head gently on her shoulders. She in turn, rested hers on mine, her hand placed comfortingly on the back of my head. Her sweet scent drew me in, and I felt myself letting go of all my inhibitions, all my barriers.

I really should thank Edward for giving me the push.

And it was then, for the very first time in my entire life, I came to know what love was.


	10. Clairvoyance

_A.N: Hey, it's been long! I apologise for that =P Hopefully this chapter will be enough to make up for that. Haha. Thanks to all who have reviewed, really appreciate it =) 'Clairvoyance' basically means the ability to have premonitions; Alice's ability to see the future. _

_Just another disclaimer: All characters/places not mentioned in the books are entirely fictional. All that is mentioned in the books belong to Stephenie Meyer._

_Oh and I have decided to have Alice only just a bit shorter than Bella, unlike in the books. So yea =)_

_All right, read and review! And enjoy too =)_

**Chapter 10 - Clairvoyance**

**BPOV**

Year 2009, July 27th

_**_

_Ergh…What time issit now…_

_I tried my best to keep my eyes open, not to much avail. But I still managed to pry them open enough to stare blearily at the digital alarm clock I conveniently placed on my bedside table._

_Oh shoot. _

_Late for the first day of work._

_I sprung up from the bed, scattering the sheets all over, only to have my foot knock into the table-leg._

"_Oh FUCK!" A sharp pain shot through my nerves. But the one good thing was that I was fully awake after that. Clumsiness has a plus side to it; especially in the mornings._

_Nice one Bella. You are supposed to leave house at 7.30, and you wake up at 7.17. Nice one._

_I rushed to the bathroom to ready myself for the day. I still could not get how I could miss the alarm; I remember setting it to go off at 6.30am. And I slept through the subsequent snooze alarm too? Goodness._

_I threw open the doors of my wardrobe, suddenly very much unenthusiastic about picking the right clothes. I have so little time, and SO MUCH to handle. No…not this, it's too casual…this is rather improper…THAT? No no no, too weird. AH DAMN. And the doorbell just has to go off at that moment. I took a quick glance at the clock again. 7.23am. DAMN._

_I strode angrily to the door. Who on earth in their right mind would come knocking on other people's doors in visitation in the morning? _

"_Hey."_

_Alice. But…how?! She was standing there, dressed expensively and ready for work. She was decked in a crisp white shirt from I-don't-know-where, black and white checkered scarf wrapped around her neck, sleek black Chanel boot-cut pants, and a pair of heeled boots that increased her height considerably so that my eyes were leveled with her mouth. Damn._

"_Morning! Aren't you going to invite me in?"_

_Alice, forever cheery and cheeky. How could I get angry with her?_

"_Oh…um yea, come on in. I'm still trying to decide on what to wear."_

_Alice strutted in with a smirk. "Well, you don't have to now. I've already decided for you," she said, dangling a paper bag from Chanel in one hand, and another bag of footwear._

_She chuckled at the look on my face, which I know wasn't the most glamorous one. "Come on, go change into them, we don't have much time."_

_I took the bags without a word, and then paused. Alice had already turned her back towards me, giving me the privacy to change. I sighed._

_I got the clothes on in a few minutes. Alice really was a good designer. The clothes in the Chanel bag were not from Chanel; they were her own designs, AMC, which I only knew from the photo shoot. A sleek brown figure-hugging shirt that looked rather like a suit jacket because of the collar, a pair of matching black pants with intricately woven brown swirls along the left pant-leg, and…a pair of heeled boots too?! _

"_Alice…" I turned towards her. Her back was still facing me. "I can't wear these…I'll fall!"_

_Alice turned around and an appraising look graced her face. I didn't really like the look though. The clothes were nice, yes, but…I looked weird in them! And I was a photographer! Not some fashion designer! Shouldn't I be wearing something more sensible?_

"_No, you won't fall," she smiled. "I know it."_

_I raised an eyebrow. "And I look totally weird in these! They are nice, yes, but they are _too nice _for me." _

"_No, they are not; they are _just nice._ You look gorgeous in them." My mouth fell opened. Damnit. Alice was grinning. _

"_B-but…but…I am-"_

"_I know! Don't worry, you don't have any shooting assignments today. I've helped you check your schedule."_

_How did she know what I was about to ask? _

"_But how-"_

"_I'll tell you later. Get your boots on and we can go! Look, I've even gotten a bag ready for you," Alice lifted up a designer tote. _

"_Al, you are-"_

"_-Absolutely wonderful! Yes, I know that. But thank you anyway!"_

_She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the door the minute I had my boots on, locking my door behind her. Since when did she take my key?_

_The cheeky woman gave me another smirk and dragged me down the stairs and out to the open as she skipped along. We ended up next to a stunning yellow Chevrolet, which I remembered seeing outside the café that fateful day while I drove off in my own red Honda after our long talk._

_She led me to the passenger side and graciously opened the car door, motioning for me to get in with an exaggerated bow. Lifting an eyebrow in her direction, I slid in onto the cushy black leather seat with a word of thanks. Alice closed the car door, threw me a wink, and went round the front of the car to the other side. With a gracious leap, she landed neatly on the driver's seat. _

_She chuckled at my wide-eyed, open-mouthed look as she revved up the car engine. Looks like that was something that I would need to get used to._

_**_

Long day...First day of work, and I was tasked to look through pictures of the corporation's old fashion shoots after being given a guided tour of their own studios. Apparently Ben Kellton, the CEO, wanted me to familiarize myself with how the corporation has been working. Yes, he was that overly-enthusiastic man who desperately wanted me to join the corporation.

It was only until just now in the car did I fully understand why; Alice told me the reason. Their in-house photography head left a few months ago for some personal reasons, and they have been having a hard time trying to get a replacement. The fashion photography crew was surprisingly small for such a big fashion corporation. Ben felt that the current members were not experienced enough for the job, so he left the space empty for so long.

That made me feel even more honored (and undeserving) to be given this position. But the awkward factor was definitely present, even though the crew was all smiles and welcoming when Alice brought me around, introducing everyone to me. It amazed me how she seemed to be able to get along with everyone; not to mention how well she got along with them. I made a mental note to ask her that someday.

It was all pretty cool; I was given a small office a stone throw away from the studios, making it convenient for me to get around. The sad thing about the arrangement was that I was on the fifteenth floor, the advertising floor, together with the in-house advertising team. That also meant that I was on a totally different floor from Alice. She was on the twenty-third storey, which I have yet to step foot on. I'm guessing that I would have no reason to ever step foot in there. Sigh.

But for now, I have to busy myself flipping and browsing through past seasons shots. It was all pretty sleep-inducing, but sleeping on the job on the first day? Not the best impression. My mouth was tired from all that smiling, my hands were numb from all the handshakes and my feet, aching from walking on the boots. I almost tripped…quite a lot of times, but thankfully, Alice always managed to catch me before I did. She always seemed to get some sort of premonition or something before I trip; I don't know.

I looked at the clock; it was 5.45pm. Sigh. What time can I leave? The office was nice and all; but the boredom was seeping deep into my bones. I knew it; I could feel it.

I threw my head back and swirled the chair around so that I was facing the vast window that reached to the floor. The view from here wasn't that bad; it was pretty good, despite the fact that all you get to see is a whole stretch of low concrete buildings with maybe a dash or two of greenery. Ah well, nothing in the world is perfect.

"Hey. Slacking on the job, hmm?"

Through the reflection on the glass window, I could see Alice leaning casually on the door-frame. I felt a grin on my face.

"Of course not. I'm merely trying to figure out the best angle and lenses to capture this concrete scenery I have in front of me."

A split second later, Alice was standing directly in front of me; between me and the window. Stunned, I jumped in the swiveling chair, and it tilted dangerously backwards. If it wasn't for Alice's inhuman reflexes, I would be unconscious from a hard knock to the head on the desk.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?" She cocked her head innocently to the side, her face merely inches from mine.

"Move so fast."

She grinned, as though she already knew that I would shoot that question.

"I shall leave that for later. Meanwhile, do you fancy trying to figure out what to have for dinner instead?"

I frowned. "Are you asking me out for dinner?"

"What do you think?"

"Let me consider-"

"There's no need to. You know you want to," Alice smirked.

I couldn't help but smile. Alice took that as consent and pulled me to my feet. The boots I had on made the difference in our height less palpable, but still, she was a good one inch taller than me. _For a change, _I smirked.

"What?"

"You are taller than me, for once. How does that make you feel?"

She scowled for a moment; but the next, she beamed brightly.

"Powerful."

"Huh?"

"I'll show you." And without second thought, she had one arm behind my knees, and one behind my back, and-

"HEY!?"

-she scooped me right up in her arms. My heart skipped a beat from the sudden shock and my arms shot right to her neck for fear of falling. "LET ME DOWN!!"

She grinned evilly. "Are you sure?"

"YE- Wait NO. DON'T YOU DARE DROP ME!" Alice was faking the motion of dropping me, but stopped after my screech.

"Then?" She smiled, her head tilted questioningly towards my face. Damn, I'm burning up. I could feel her skin's distinct coldness through my clothes, and it only made me burn even hotter in embarrassment. It only just occurred to me that she was carrying me _bridal-styled._

"Put me down!" I huffed, and then added, "Please?"

Slowly, she set me back on my feet again. For a moment, I lost my balance, and had to grab her for support. She placed an arm around my waist to hold me steady.

Once I regained my nerves and my bearings, I smacked her arm and immediately regretted after I had done that.

"What if someone- OW!"

"You should know better than to do that! I thought you had done your research?!"

She held my hand up worriedly, pressing it lightly to check for any broken bones. Thankfully, nothing was broken; and I know better now.

"What if someone saw!?" I frowned at her, cradling my throbbing hand with my good one.

"Relax, I know that no one will see what happen. I wouldn't have done it if someone will see."

"That's goo- Wait a minute, how can you _know?"_

Alice glanced at the clock. 6.01pm. "We really should get going, you know. I've made a reservation for 6.30."

I just stood looking at her, open-mouthed. She noticed. Giggling, she shook her head, then slipped her hand into my good one, which I had let fall to my side during that moment of questioning. I felt her lace her cool fingers with mine, as well as the gently tugging when she tried to make me move. But I remained stationary.

"You haven't answered my question."

I must have looked resolved and serious, for that was how I felt at that moment; and the change in her tone when she replied me confirmed my feelings. Alice stopped and looked me straight in the eye.

"I promise I'll tell you over dinner."

After that, I let her pull me along to the car. I remained quiet throughout the entire journey, and Alice did not say anything either. She just drove along in silence, totally focused on the road. I glanced at her occasionally out of the corner of my eyes; she had this resolute look on her face. The usually molten gold of her eyes were hardened, and her face looked granite-hard too. I know it was supposed to be, but it seemed to be further accentuated now.

She was driving pretty fast, not that she drove slowly normally. This wasn't the first time I've been in her car, so I already knew her preference and inclination for speed. But there was still something unsettling about going so fast, especially at night. I guess she sensed that I was feeling tensed and uncomfortable, for she slowed down a bit, and I was grateful for that. The only sounds around us were the whistling of the cool night air and the roaring of the engines of the cars.

A few awkward minutes later, Alice pulled up near a renowned restaurant in Seattle that went by the name of _Beau Monde. _It was obviously a classy place for the rich, by the looks of the exterior furnishing alone. I wasn't even sure if I could afford the starters in this posh place.

We went in and the waiter, a good-looking man in his twenties, blonde hair sleek with gel, dressed in a long-sleeved white shirt with the typical black bow-tie, gave a broad smile when Alice said that she have a reservation. He led us to a private corner, away from the classy crowd decked to the nines. It was hard trying not to feel out-of-place in such a posh restaurant. Upon reaching the table, he turned to find Alice just right behind him and gave her a nauseating smile as he pulled out a chair for her. Alice waved him away, and the smile slipped off his face like butter before he slink away with his tail between his legs.

I couldn't help feeling a bit unwilling to see the back of the waiter, even though he was blatantly trying to flirt with my Alice. Being alone with Alice made me feel even more like a fish out of water. The whole atmosphere was almost suffocating. It was a nice place all right, midnight blue walls, soft pastel lights; a totally romantic environment. But I wasn't used to it. Any of it.

Alice strutted towards me, slipped a hand into my right and led me gently to the table. She let go of my hand briefly to pull out a seat for me. Seeing that I wasn't going to move voluntarily, she once again led me by the hand to the seat. I swallowed, and then sat down on the velvet cushion as she helped me push my chair in.

After she took her seat, she propped her right elbow on the table and her chin upon her hand. I glanced at the menu on the table, gulped, and then directed my gaze back to her eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"Um…this place is not exactly _cheap."_

She smiled gently, her eyes half-lidded, and I calmed down considerably. There was something comforting behind her smile.

"Not to worry. Just order whatever you like."

The look on her face clearly showed that she would not take no for an answer. Chewing my lower lip, I glanced back down at the menu.

"If you keep doing that, the skin will break and I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to restrain myself."

"Huh? Oh. I'm s-sorry."

"No worries; just don't make your lips bleed from all that biting. I'd rather you bite on some proper food instead," Alice motioned to the menu.

"Um, yea…"

"No idea what to get?"

"Not really.."

"All right then. You mind if I help you out?"

"Um…no-"

Alice snapped her fingers and the same waiter hurried over with the same, simpering smile on his face. She listed out a whole string of words in French, with the waiter nodding and scribbling away hastily.

"_Merci." _The waiter nodded and scuttled off as professionally as he could, and we were left on our own once again.

"I didn't know you speak French."

Alice laughed; her lilting voice was music to my ears. "And Spanish, German, Chinese…" She chuckled at the look on my face. "I am _108 _years old, Bella. How do you think I spend my time?"

"But you don't-"

Alice laughed again. "Of course I don't! We don't age; I was changed at 19, and I haven't aged a day since then."

Reasonable enough. But how did she know what I was about to ask?

"There. Again. How did you know what I was going to ask? How come you always know when I will trip, and catch me in time? You promised to tell me."

Just then, the waiter interrupted with the dishes. He dished out a plate of small pastry-like puffs and a bottle of red wine, pouring both of us a serving of the crimson liquid. I couldn't help but to think of blood at that moment.

"_Hors d'œuvres,_ _Mademoiselles."_

Alice acknowledged with a nod of thanks, and motioned for me to eat as the waiter once again took his leave.

"What's this?"

"_Hors d'œuvres._ They are appetizers."

I took one with a raised eyebrow. "Why aren't you eating?"

She gave a small smile, one that seemed almost regretful. "We don't eat. We drink."

"Wine?" I shot a look at the bottle.

"Blood."

"Whose?" I cupped my hand over my mouth, berating myself for my bluntness. "I'm sorry."

Surprisingly, Alice laughed at my comment. "It's all right. You should know, anyway. Not human's. Animals. We are sort of…um…you can call us _vegetarians." _I think she noticed the look on my face, because she hurriedly added, "we made sure they feel as less pain as possible. Quick and painless."

I was still doubtful, but I chose not to probe any further. "You said 'you _don't eat'. _You can?"

"Yes. But food will taste like garbage though." Alice scrunched up her face in disgust; she looked adorable doing that. I laughed.

"What about wine?" I eyed the glass of wine she was casually swirling.

"I've sort of gotten used to the taste. There're occasions where you must drink as respect to others, right? Anyway, it's red wine. I can just pretend that it's diluted blood." Alice didn't seem very keen to continue with the topic, so I decided to drop it. The waiter came by again with a plate of seafood spaghetti.

I waited until he was out of ear-shot, before getting the question that had been bothering me out.

"Now can you tell me about how you always seem to be able to…I don't know…predict things before they actually happen?"

"I so knew you were going to ask that." Alice chuckled lightly. "Some vampires possess special abilities, on top of having lightning speed, sharp ears, keen eyes, inhuman strength and toughness. Edward, my brother, he has the ability to read minds, of vampires and humans alike. As for me, I have the ability of clairvoyance. Which means that yes, I can predict the future in some way. You can eat while I talk, you know."

Her chuckle disoriented me slightly and I took a mouthful of spaghetti, slightly conscious of my eating mannerisms in front of Alice. She smiled again with lidded eyes.

"That was how I know you will wake up late this morning and have difficulty deciding on what to wear," Alice laughed. "That was also why I could see whether anyone will walk in on us just now. I usually just call it the Sight, for easy referencing. Usually it will come as short flashes, but I can roughly see what will happen to a person if I tune in to him. It's useful most of the times, but there're times when it can become quite the nuisance. Especially the headaches that come with it when I try too hard to tap into it." She paused to take a thoughtful sip of wine and sighed. Then, she lifted her head up and our eyes connected.

"It wasn't always working this well though. I somehow set a barrier on the Sight a while back due to…_emotional distress. _But it cleared up though, thankfully."

I stopped eating. Emotional distress? But why?

"Why? What caused the emotional distress?"

Alice refused to look at me.

"Was it m-"

"-No, it was just me. Don't worry about it."


	11. Issues

_A.N: Finally an update! I'm so sorry for yet another long wait =P ENJOY! (Don't forget to review!) _

**Chapter 11- Issues**

**APOV**

A rustle. A movement. Slight shifting.

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

I heard her breath hitch.

"Erm..yea, I'm fine."

Chancing a glance, she looked anything but fine to me.

"Are you sure? You look a bit pale to me. Look, if you don't feel comfortable with this, I don't mind turning back-"

"No no no! It's okay! I really am feeling all right! Just a bit…nervous. It's okay, just keep driving."

I gave her one last look of concern, pursed my lips, and then turned my attention back onto the road. We were traversing down the long gravel road leading to my home. There wasn't any special occasion on, no; just another ordinary Sunday. It was just that Bella wanted to pop by and say hi to the family.

We have been together for two weeks now, still counting. I have never felt this…euphoric and _warm _before, not until she stepped into my life after that night. But we have been taking things slowly too; one step at a time. I don't want to rush her into anything. After waiting for a hundred over years, it doesn't really make much of a difference to me now.

But one thing that I seriously did not expect was her wanting to meet the others so early into our relationship. I was literally frozen with shock when she told me about it.

I mean, one _vampire, _you would think that the shock would be enough for a normal human being to handle. No; make that an eccentric human being. A normal human being would most likely stay away in self-preservation. But no, this girl next to me wants to meet five more.

Sometimes I could not help but to wonder where her sense of self-preservation went (if she had any in the first place). How reckless can one get?

But I guess I should not be complaining.

Bella may be reckless, but she is by no doubt sweet. And no, please don't get me wrong; I was not referring to her scent. I would not deny that is sweet as well, but it would be totally wrong for me to think that. I _like _her for who she is, not her scent. But I guess when you like someone, everything about them would appeal to you. I suppose that was what true _love_ was supposed to be-

-No, not _love. Like. _Love would be moving too fast; and I really don't want to rush her into anything. But 'true _like_' does not make any sense. Perhaps if we change it to 'truly'...

Damn Bella, you sure are able to reduce me into a lovesick, babbling, rambling fool.

A job well done too, Alice. I feel like some teenage boy in love for the first time.

Bella must have noticed a frown creasing my forehead, for she daringly reached out her hand and lightly grazed it across my skin, so lightly that I barely felt it, if not for the brief shock of heat that was emanating off her. Thankfully there were seldom any cars taking this road.

"Now, are you all right?"

I nodded my head, but it was more like a jerk of acknowledgement. "I am…it's you whom I'm more worried about. I mean, why would you be so keen to meet my family? A bunch of…_vamps_?"

She shot me an incredulous look. I stopped the car on the road shoulder. Something told me that we needed to talk.

Bella unbuckled her seatbelt and daringly shifter closer to me. I held my breath. "What?"

"Alice…I'm just trying to become a part of your life. I mean, I hardly know anything about you, or even you family. I know you are afraid to let me in (_what?!) _because you want to protect me. It's sweet of you, but also stupid. I want you to know that I really am serious about _this." _Bella grabbed my hand and held it tightly.

I did not know how to reply her. She effectively dug up my insecurities and fears and smashed them into smithereens. I was totally at a loss, sitting there dumbly with my hands still on the steering wheel, one of hers' on mine.

My head was turned so that I was looking into her eyes. Her warm brown ocher eyes that always seem to be able to pull me in. I was appreciating the emotions swimming within them, allowing myself to drown deeper and deeper into the chocolate-brown depths that seemed to be moving closer and closer, engulfing me slowly. She cupped my cheeks lightly, tracing my skin with the soft pads of her fingertips. The burning warmth of her hands shook me from my trance just in time to feel her lips on mine.

Slowly, steadily, Bella moved her lips over mine, leading them in a slow dance. I felt teeth biting and scraping softly over my bottom lip, pleading in her own quiet way for me to let her in. But I kept my lips tightly locked together.

I heard a click as Bella unbuckled my seatbelt. The next thing I know, she has moved over to take its place, nestling herself on my lap. Chevy's spacious enough, but I sure did not appreciate its roominess at that moment. The spontaneous and unpredictable woman sitting in my lap daringly leaned into me, arms on my chest, lips on mine, fighting for entry. I didn't even know who she was anymore at that instance. She was a totally different person from the Bella I knew.

The stranger ripped and tore and crashed against my barriers; however, the more she tried, the more unyielding I became. She slowly pulled away after what seemed like a million years, chest heaving slightly as she looks at me with a hard face. She was not very happy with me; I knew that. My arms were dead weight by my sides as I stubbornly continued to stare straight ahead, trying to keep my barriers up to protect my insecurities.

Bella's arms slowly slid down my front, making a great show of moving back onto her seat. I knew that she was doing that on purpose, running the tips of her digits daringly over my chest and my stomach and my hips before pulling away, taking the heat and warmth away. But I stubbornly kept my eyes on the gravel road ahead, even though I was close to breaking inside.

She is just so…wild. I started the engine that roared into life. I don't even know whether I'll be able to handle her. She shouldn't even be here with me; her being human and me being a century-old blood-drinker.

I am not good enough for her.

It wasn't long before we turned into the driveway of my family mansion. The rest of the ride after our awkward exchange was filled with tension and even…_weirder _than the situation itself. Her face was scrunched up into a scowl and she steadfastly refused to take even a single look at me.

But I trust that Edward would sort things out. I _know. _

My loyal brother, as I expected, did not let me down. He was already waiting in the entrance hall, behind the main door for us. Of course, Bella did not know that, so it wasn't any surprising to see her jump in shock when he opened the door the very moment we arrived at the doorsteps.

Edward seemed to not have noticed Bella's jump.

"Hi, I'm Edward, Alice's brother." He extended his cool hand and smiled that smile that never fails to melt any girl. I frowned.

Bella reciprocated with a smile and grasped his hand warmly, no pun intended.

"Hi, I'm Bella. Pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure's mine. I know who you are," Edward glanced at me, "I've heard a lot about you." Bella raised an eyebrow and threw a side-glance at me, but she did not say a single word.

Damn you, Edward Cullen. Stop making things any more awkward than they already are.

Edward's mind-reading ability sure comes in useful at times like this. But I know that Bella would not like it if she ever finds out that I had gotten my brother to snoop around in her head. Oh well, what she does not know would never hurt her.

Strangely, Edward seemed slightly disturbed. He gave me a weird look and I received a sudden flash of an upcoming talk. I nodded subtly. Our little exchange ended in a matter of seconds, with Bella being totally oblivious to it all. Her handshake with my brother ended milliseconds after our silent agreement.

"Come on in; the family's waiting."

Edward led us into the parlour. I floated along next to Bella and grasped her hand encouragingly. Thankfully, she did not wrench it away. I could tell that she was feeling nervous though she did a pretty good job hiding it; she was tensed. I rubbed my thumb consolingly over the back of her hand. Petty arguments can stay away for the moment; now, I need to be here for her.

The moment we entered, Esme came over with a warm smile and drew us, minus Edward, into a tight hug. I could feel Bella tense up next to me, but she gradually relaxed into Esme's motherly embrace. Pulling away, Esme smiled warmly with a slight twinkle in her eyes.

"Hi dear, I'm Esme, Alice's mother."

"Hi, I'm Bella." My love smiled, and then glanced at me with an unsure look on her face. If my hunch was correct, I would say that she was wondering why Esme looked so young. I think she has forgotten that we don't age.

Ah, but she looks so cute when she is lost.

I let go of her hand, and Bella jerked at the sudden loss of contact, but instantly relaxed the moment I wrapped my arm around her waist reassuringly and pulled her closer to me. Edward was already starting to introduce the rest of the family.

"Bella, that's Emmett over there standing behind the couch." Emmett waved with a wide grin. "And that's Rosalie sitting in front of Emmett." Rosalie merely nodded her head in acknowledgement. "Standing over there, next to the grand piano, is Jasper." Jasper smiled nervously. I could see him fidgeting slightly, and instinctively, I drew Bella closer to me. It was not that I did not trust Jasper; in fact, I do trust him, but not that creature within him.

Jasper just joined the family not too long ago, and he was still getting used to our lifestyle and our _special _diet. He was getting along pretty well, but there was no saying that he would not lose control of himself because of Bella. I would be damned if I let anything happen to Bella.

"And here's Carlisle," Edward gestured with his hand as Carlisle came over with a gentle smile.

"It's nice to have you here, Bella. I'm Carlisle, their father. I work at the local hospital in Seattle."

"It's nice to meet all of you, Mr Cullen."

"It's all right. Please, call me Carlisle." He took Bella's hand. "It is okay, Alice," he nodded towards me. I reluctantly let go of Bella's waist and allowed Carlisle to lead her over to the couch. I presumed that they were going to have the usual get-to-know-you-better talk.

"Hey sis," Edward was beside me. "Fancy giving me a hand with some of my stuff upstairs? I need some help sorting them out."

"Sure."

It was time for our little talk.

After double-checking and triple-checking that Bella was fine without me there, I headed to Edward's room. He had gone on upstairs first, and was pacing his room anxiously while waiting for me to arrive. That was something that I didn't get to see often, and it did made me rather nervous myself.

"What's wrong?" He stopped pacing as I locked the door behind me.

"This is going to be hard to say-"

"Is she fuming mad at me beyond hope?"

"No, no; it's not that. It's…" he struggled to find a suitable word. "Strange."

"What's so strange? You've lost me."

"It's just… Bella. She's…different."

"How so? I know that she's a female; hell, you knew that! Don't tell me you are going all homophobic on me now. You were the one who nagged me to go for it in the first place, brother."

"No no! I don't mean that! I'm fine with you two girls together, but this is a different matter altogether."

"Okay, stop. Breathe and stop going around in riddles; you're not making much sense. What do you mean by 'different'?"

"I can't hear her thoughts."

He looked at me expectantly, as though he was waiting for an answer from me. But I was as lost as he was, and he realized that too. No, it's not possible; how can he not be able to hear her thoughts? Unless she is a-

"Werewolf?"

"No, it can't be! I can see her future just fine! She can't be a werewolf. Furthermore, she doesn't stink like them."

"Yea, you've got a point there. She smells nothing like those stinking dogs."

"Are you sure you can't hear her? Maybe you did not tune in properly?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Gosh sis, did you think I'm five or something? Of course I did! I am never wrong."

Everything was giving me a splitting headache. I walked over to his bed and sank down in it with my head in my hands. It was not possible… this can't be happening-

"Well, it is; like it or not."

"…"

"We can ask Carlisle about this after she's gone," he offered helpfully. "I would love to find out for myself why I can't tune in to her."

I nodded numbly and thought of Bella. Then, I received another flash that made me shot straight up.

"Edward. Downstairs. Now."

Not waiting for his response, I was out of the door and on my way down in a flash.

I heard a crash. Bella. I was too late.

I dashed into the parlour only to witness what I saw just three seconds ago. Bella was kneeling next to a pile of broken glass with a cut on her hand and drops of crimson liquid dotting the marble floor.

Blood.

I stopped breathing immediately and got to her side. Emmett and Rosalie had backed off to a far corner. And Jasper…he was trembling uncontrollably.

"Edward, get Jasper." Edward, who had dashed in after me, immediately started to head towards the blonde. But he wasn't fast enough; Jasper had a headstart.

Jasper lunged towards us before Edward could reach him. A loud crash resounded as I tried to block him myself and push him away from Bella. He was stronger than me, obviously, and he had clearly lost his senses due to the thirst. I snarled at him and stood protectively in front of Bella. I would never allow him to get close to her in this state. Jasper's face was contorted in hunger and his eyes had turned coal black. He would have been impossible to restrain if Emmett and Edward had not help to pull him back.

"Edward, Emmett, Rosalie; take him out." Esme firmly pointed towards the back door. The two males grabbed Jasper, who was still growling and struggling to break free, dragging him towards the back door held open by Rosalie. I did not break my stance until the door clicked firmly shut.

Carlisle was trying to stop the bleeding from the deep gash on her hand, working methodically like the professional doctor he was. Esme rushed into the kitchen for the first aid kit and returned with it as well as a bottle of bleach.

"I'll do it." I made an attempt to take the bleach and the cloth from Esme. "It's okay, I can handle it. You join the rest."

Esme shot a glance at Carlisle, who turned to look at me before giving her a reassuring nod. She murmured a quick "thanks" before rushing out of the parlour.

I hastily mopped up the mess with bleach and dumped the blood-soaked cloth into bleach before burning it. It was hard to focus with the overpowering smell of Bella's blood beckoning to me. But I knew that I had to do it. For Bella's sake, I must.

Carlisle had stopped the bleeding by the time I finished mopping up the mess. I moved to Bella's side and sat down next to her on the couch as he started to bandage the wound. I wrapped my arm around her waist again and brushed a few strands of hair that was sticking to her face due to perspiration. I must have scared her.

She turned to look at me with apologetic brown eyes. This was good for me, for focusing on her eyes helped to take my mind off the tempting wound on her hand.

"I'm sorry." She seemed to be feeling really guilty.

"Don't be. I'm the one who should be sorry." I leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I gave you quite a scare, didn't I?"

"Not really. I felt safe with you around." I dropped my gaze. I am anything but _safe _to be around.

"Really," she used her one good hand to lift my chin up and met my gaze steadily. "I mean it."

"I'm sorry about Jasper. He's new to our diet. So he is still learning how to stay under control around humans."

"It's me who should be sorry. I'm too accident-prone for my own good. And for others' good."

Carlisle had finished wrapping her hand up and left with the stuff, deciding to leave us alone. He gave me a smile before exiting into kitchen to clear up.

"We're not safe to be around. _I'm not_ safe to be around."

"I feel _safe _with you, that is all that matters."

Bella lifted my chin again, then moved her hand to rest on my cheek. She leaned in. I moved my head forwards and closed the rest of the distance between us, allowing our lips to meet. It was a kiss of reassurance, from her to me. It was a kiss of trust.

"I promise I will do all I can to keep you safe."

"I know you will. I love you."


	12. Gentlewoman

_A.N. I wanted to start a new chapter for this story, but I realised that I was halfway through it already -.- Oh well, at least I got started on the next chapter, haha! Here you go!_

**Chapter 12: Gentle-wo-man**

_BPOV  
-__Year 2009, August 12th _

"_Tsk_."

I looked up from my paperwork to find a stern Alice leaning against the doorway. How I failed to notice her there before; I have no idea.

"Hey, Al."

"Bella, you look horrible."

"Thanks."

"I mean it." Alice strode over to my desk with her arms crossed. "You have these horrendous eye-bags under your gorgeous brown eyes and you look paler than usual. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that you are one of my kind."

"Thanks a lot; I feel fantastic now."

Alice frowned. She maneuvered her way around the desk to stand behind my chair. Placing her small hands upon my shoulder, she started to massage gently. I could feel her nimble fingers working away the tension in my shoulders. God, how I love this woman.

"Mmm…feels good." Closing my eyes, I leaned my head back to rest on her firm stomach.

"Sorry for being so straightforward. But you really do look quite terrible, you know. I still love you though."

"Mmm…perhaps. I haven't been sleeping well. Sorry for being grouchy. I promise I am not always like this."

"You better not be!"

Her husky voice charged me with sudden, unexplainable vigor. She stopped her ministrations just as I swiveled the chair around. Her eyes were filled with knowing anticipation as our lips met in a now familiar dance.

Yearning for contact, I wrapped my arms tighter around her hips. She gracefully slipped onto my lap and I moaned into her mouth the moment I felt the coolness of her body. She _is_ mine.

"Erm, Bella?"

A slight knock; a hesitant voice sounded from the doorway. I broke the kiss in shock and whipped my head to the doorway, face flushed from embarrassment and the kiss. It was Jessie._ Oh god._ I mentally smacked myself for losing control.

She was equally flushed as I was, but a playful smile twitched slightly at the corner of her mouth. Argh. Will I ever live this down? Alice smirked, shaking slightly on my lap, and I turned back to shoot a glare at her. _How could she look so normal after being caught in the act?_

"Sorry, I didn't know that you are…preoccupied. I just wanted to drop in with some information about an upcoming photo-shoot. It's scheduled for next Monday, Studio 1; just so you know. The rest of the information's in the file."

"Uh, oh; okay. Thanks Jess."

"Not a problem. Sorry that I interrupted the fun." Jessie winked at my poor imitation of a goldfish. "You girls can continue. Nice to see you too, Alice."

"Bye!" Alice cheerily waved goodbye until the door clicked shut.

I turned back to her with a stony glare at the bubbly girl on my lap. She innocently glanced back at me. "What?"

"Why didn't you warn me that she was coming? _You knew she was going to appear._"

"It's no big deal, love."

"What do you mean; it's no _big deal_?"

"She's completely fine with us. Trust me. And she's not a blabbermouth either. Anyway, the truth will be out eventually, no?"

"But…but…but-what makes you think I am ready for it?"

I finally got through to her. Her face fell into a look of uncertainty and her voice was barely a whisper. I had to strain my ears to get an idea of what she said.

"I'm sorry. I just…assumed. I guess I shouldn't have- I guess I should leave-" Alice slid off my thighs dejectedly and motioned to leave.

"No!" I stood up and grabbed her before she could head anywhere. I pulled her slender, petite frame tightly against myself. "I'm sorry. It's just…the lack of sleep makes me grumpy. I'm sorry."

"It's all right. I should have asked whether you were okay with being out."

"I am! It's just that… I didn't plan to _out_ myself that way. But now that it's done, I guessed I couldn't have done it any smoother than that."

Well, it was true. I had thought about _outing _this; _us, _several times in the past week. Sometimes, I just want to be able to hold her hand, kiss her, smile lovingly into her eyes in public. It tires me to be so secretive all the time; to live in fear that our relationship will be discovered. Why can't we just love and live openly like any other couple? Love is love; why are people blinded to that? Why can't they see that?

Alice turned around in my arms and tentatively placed her hands on my hips. She was still glancing at me with uncertainty. I gave her a reassuring smile before leaning in to capture her lips once more. I could not help smiling into the kiss as it occured to me that we can finally be open about our relationship.

We broke apart after a while. Alice was still quite apologetic about what had happened. It took a few more moments of convincing and a couple of kisses of assurance to get her back to her usual cheery self, but nothing outside my ability. She was really upset at herself for almost making me mad. My masochistic self took some secret relief in that though; her reaction showed that she really cared, and I love her for that.

After we knocked off from work, Alice drove us out for dinner (more like me) before sending me back home. Escorting me up to the door, she was a perfect gentleman. Probably still feeling guilty for what happened earlier. But I was not going to complain. Ha.

"Thanks love."

Alice fidgeted slightly, but made no attempts to leave.

"I was thinking of…um…staying for the night-" I raised my eyebrows at her. "Uh-That is, if you don't mind, because you said you were not sleeping well and I thought maybe if I am here you would be able to sleep better and-"

"Shush love; you are cute when you go all r_amble-y_. Did I say no? Don't be stunned at the state of it though."

I opened the door and motioned for her to go in. My home was definitely not the tidiest around, but Alice has been here before, so it did not mattered much.

Alice brightened up and skipped into the room, blissfully unaware of the miscellaneous stuff lying around. Or at least; she was being courteous and tactful by pretending to be unaware. I swore that I saw her lips twitched at least twice when I was locking the door. I threw my bag onto the couch and grabbed a couple of empty chips packets before switching on the television.

"Make yourself at home. I'm going for a shower. Or do you want to join me?"

"I'm fine. Go have your shower. I promise I won't peek," Alice smirked.

I chuckled. _She is really a gentleman; my Alice._

A quick shower was all it took to perk me up, and I was done in about ten minutes. Absent-mindedly, I exited the bathroom with only a towel around me. I was about to head over to my wardrobe for something comfortable to snooze in when I noticed Alice standing by my dressing table, blatantly looking right at me. I felt self-conscious all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry!" My brunette turned away hastily after realising what she was doing, her voice slightly higher than usual. If she was not a vampire, I bet she would have been beet-red by now.

I tried my very best not to laugh at the sight of Alice being embarrassed and got myself into some proper clothing for the night, taking care to leave out the bra. I never liked wearing one to sleep in the first place; it gets really hot sometimes. But Alice didn't know that.

Alice was still poker-stiff when I was done. I sneaked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her midriff, causing her to tense up. She was so distracted that she did not even notice me sneaking up on her.

"Like what you saw?"

"I didn't see anything!" Alice protested wildly, looking as though she was about to start rambling all over again.

"What were you doing in my room anyway?"

"I was just cleaning up!" Her hasty answer made me raise an eyebrow. "I'm serious! Go outside to check if you don't believe me!"

I let go of her despite a soft whine of protest and headed out into the living room. I almost fainted from what I saw. It was as though I had walked into a totally different house altogether; save for the furniture being the same. My gentleman had tidied and swept and straightened the house up in only a matter of ten minutes, without me hearing even a single thing all the time while I was in the shower. I could not even close my mouth from the shock. Turning around, I saw Alice grinning with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

I squealed and ran towards her, jumping into her arms at the last moment. She caught me with ease and giggled. "Goodness, Bella; it was just cleaning up! Not a very difficult task!"

"I know, but usually I spend one whole day at that and I barely get things done! Thank you!"

"That is because you are too easily distracted, Bella dear." She glanced at the clock. "It's eleven pm; we better get you to bed, yes?"

She carried me back into my bedroom and set me on the fresh, new sheets gently. After tucking me in, she leaned in to kiss me lightly on my forehead with a whispered "goodnight". Then, she moved to the couch beside the window and sat serenely, looking at me.

I gave her a confused look. "Aren't you going to sleep too?"

"Oh; we don't sleep. We can't."

Seeing my wide-eyed look, she chuckled.

"Yes, Bella; I don't sleep. Why do you think I have these permanent shadows under my eyes?"

"Oh." I ended quite lamely.

"-Did you call Esme to let them know where you are? I don't want them to get worried," I blurted out, suddenly recalling that Alice did not seemed to have contacted anyone after my request for her to stay.

"Yep, I phoned while you were still in the shower. Don't worry so much and sleep, Bella."

I flipped over so that I was lying on my front. Closing my eyes for a moment, I tried to let sleep wash over me. But-

"-Then what do you do when I am asleep? Are you sure you are fine?"

Alice shook her head and laughed. Spying a novel lying on my desk, she reached over and grabbed it, waving it at me before opening it to the first page.

I looked at her with muted surprise, and then tried to sleep again. But even after five minutes of tossing and turning, I could not.

"I get what you mean about you not sleeping well now."

I looked over to Alice. She was looking at me intently.

"Do you…um…can you hold me please, Alice?"

There was no need for second words. Alice gently placed the book down on the bedside desk and fluidly slipped under the covers just next to me. Her slim but toned arms whispered around my waist, pulling me close to her. I felt safe in an instance; with her right next to me.

"Am I too cold for you?" Her breath tickled my face lightly.

"No, you are perfect." I nuzzled my nose into the nape of her neck and inhaled her soothing scent.

It did not take long for sleep to wash over me.

And I must say; it was the best night sleep I had in months.

…

"Rise and shine, love."

What was that tinkling I heard in my dreams? Ergh…the sun…piercing my eyes…don't want to wake…let me just snooze a while more… I nuzzled into my bolster.

"Bella dear; you've snoozed for fifteen minutes already. We are going to be late for work." Something cool touched my nose, and I wrinkled it in annoyance.

"Jusf a wfhile mmooore…"

I turned over to the other side, away from the source that was trying to rouse me from my beauty sleep.

But the next thing I heard woke me in an instance and sent shivers down my spine. All in a good way; of course.

"Well," a husky voice purred at my ear. "If you don't want to wake up, I guess I will have to make you, hmm?"

Darn, her voice. I whipped my eyes open to look straight into the golden orbs of my love. She was wearing a delightful smirk on her face. Alice leaned in for a kiss, but frowned when I turned away sharply.

"Morning breath," I muttered, trying to keep the blush away from my face.

Alice chuckled. "Nonsense, you always smell great to me." Then, ignoring my protests, she leaned in and captured my lips with her own.

We broke apart a while later when the need to take a breath overcame me. Alice looked pleased and happy after the kiss, just like she always did when she managed to make me speechless (in a good way).

"I guess I better take a shower then. Not joining me again, I see."

"Yep. I went back to hunt and showered when you were asleep." Alice was already decked in a fresh set of clothes, ready for work.

"I guessed that much. Mind helping me to pick out my clothes?"

"Sure," Alice beamed.

I tried to shake off that nasty, uncomfortable feeling that the girl had something up her sleeves. There was this mischievous twinkle in her eyes that I could not put a name to. But the moment the water pounds steadily on my skin, I relaxed. Nothing beats a warm shower in the morning to start the day.

I stepped out of the shower, wrapped only in my towel again. Alice was standing just right next to the bed; beaming. She seemed to have gotten used to the sight of me being only in a towel.

"I don't remember _having _these clothes."

"Of course you don't! They are not even out in the market yet! These are from _AMC's _new label. I took the liberty to bring it for you when I popped home earlier._"_

I looked at her in shock and disbelief.

"From your line's _new label_?"

"Yep! I made them myself! I wanted to surprise you later when I get more designs done, but I couldn't wait," the look on her face was one of sheepishness. Alice…she is absolutely _adorable._

That did not stop me from frowning though. "But how come I never hear you mention anything about having a new label?"

"I only decided on starting it last week. Everything's still not in place yet. Besides-" The petite girl snuck up to me. "-I wanted to _surprise _you."

I shivered as her arms enveloped me in an embrace. Damn, Alice; she is just so _perfect._

"Thank you." I murmured into her hair. To myself more than to anyone, I added, "I wonder what I did to be able to deserve you, Alice…"

I conveniently forgot what she _is, _until she leant back and looked straight into my eyes.

"By being _Isabella Swan."_


	13. Fears and Tears? Schmears

**Chapter 13: Fears and Tears? Shmears**

**APOV**

It was a fine day, a _perfect _one.

And it was just about to get even better.

Pulling up at the side of the road, I turned off the engine and hopped out of my Chevrolet as usual. I got a few stares here and there from that, as well as a drooling, dreamy man across the road, but they were the least of my concerns. My mind was focused on one person.

And that person could just make me a dreamy fool just by the thought of her alone. She was the only one who held the key to unlock that vulnerable side of me, however much I hate to let it out. She was the only one whom I trust enough to let myself go with, albeit still insecure about my insecurities. But she always seemed to make me feel better about it. Anyway, who ever feels secure about their insecurities?

It took me only mere seconds to reach her door. Every second away from her felt like eternity; something I should have been used to since I have been around for quite a while. I did grow used to it, but Bella managed to change everything since she stepped into my life. It is funny how when you have nothing to look forward to, time seems to pass very slowly. But when you do have something to look forward to, it literally _crawls. _I only just saw Bella like…_three _hours ago. But it felt like _three, torturous days_.

I have fallen deep into an endless abyss. Deeper than what I could even think of falling.

I have to admit that the thought unsettled me quite a bit. I was not very comfortable with being vulnerable. Being dependent. Knowing the fact that my state and fate hinges upon the actions, thoughts and feelings of someone else makes me feel…helpless. It was as though my life no longer belongs to me. There was a certain marionette quality to it.

I shook away all brooding thoughts when I reached the door. She was already ready and waiting for me. I could just smell her scent from right here. But she did not need to know about my insecurities. I think she would just laugh it off. I fear that she would _just laugh it off. _So instead, I painted on the typical smile which I always wear on my face. Fake? No. It was a security blanket. Or perhaps, insecurity blanket.

Bella opened the door and my face blanched at the sight of the soured look on her face.

"Why the long face, honey?"

Bella mumbled a string of incoherent words, trailing off at the end. I frowned.

"Don't you like shopping?"

"Shopping! Precisely! That's where the problem lies. I hate shopping!"

All right, I had to admit that I did not see that coming. I did not see Bella passionately declaring her hatred for _shopping. I did not _see another female announcing that she _hates_ shopping.

I must swear that I never thought that one day I would actually come across a _female _who hates shopping with a _passion. _

"Come on Bella!" Bella continued glowering at me with that look on her face.

And that, called for extreme measures.

"Wha-?"

Picking Bella up with ease, I moved swiftly to her three-man couch. Lowering her onto it, I jumped onto it and framed her body, crouching on all fours. I was thinking of giving her a mini lecture…but…oh, _bless me._

Blood rushed to her face as her heart pounded at increasing speed.

_Damn it. Not at this moment_.

My vision clouded over. It was as though someone had lit a spark in my throat, a vicious spark that was spreading like wildfire. It was searing, burning and painful; practically licking hungrily at my insides. I grimaced as the feeling intensified.

"Alice…what's wrong?"

The smell of her blood was tantalizing. It was calling out to me, beckoning to me. It was like a drug, overpowering my senses. It pulled at me, tugging at my heartstrings and my thirst. No…just my thirst. It was yanking with such force that it was impossible to resist. I could taste the burning venom, waiting to be injected into my victim. It was enveloping me, fogging my senses, drowning my logic… I couldn't pull back…It was taking over…I lean in towards my helpless prey and licked my lips in anticipation. Her vulnerability only make her look even more luscious and delicious. The room seemed to dim and swirls of dust danced in the soft lights. Yes…_closer, Alice…_

_She is yours…take her…_

I could not bring myself to do that to Bella. Bella… I struggled with myself to rein in the monster, fighting for an ounce of self-control over my instincts. I was doing well for the past few weeks! Why now?

Damn it. The last time I hunted was five days ago.

I caressed her skin lightly…so soft…so warm… Her shudder delighted me and I rumbled my appreciation. And the sight of the mere human writhing beneath me…it was so _empowering. _I relished in her quickening breaths and cocked my head lightly to the right, allowing the rasping sounds to wash into me as I savor them with closed eyes. My nose picked up on her distinctive scent. It was such a _turn on. _I want to _hear her scream. For me. _

_She wants you, Alice._

"Alice!"

The scene was a…bloody one. Everything felt so real, the moment of raw lust and hunger. I savored the bliss of the moment, drunk and delirious.

The next moment came crashing down on me. The euphoria disappeared. My hands were warm and sticky; the sight of the crimson stains tainting my pale skin confirmed my fears.

"NOOOOO! BELLA!"

My head was practically splitting apart at the shrill scream, that I came to realize was my own. It was pure agony, agony like the fires in hell. The fiery agony lapped and licked greedily at every single cell in my body, just like how I lapped up… her blood. The pain, terror and regret were all rolled into one within me, released barely by the screams that came out from my mouth. The screams that became silent to…

"ALICE! Come on, love; open your eyes! Please, you are scaring me!"

_Bella? Bella's voice? No, I killed her. I felt it. No, please. Now I am really going insane. No, Bella…I'm sorry, forgive me-"_

"ALICE! Open your damn eyes please! Do it for me!"

I barely opened them, still whimpering silently. Disbelief flooded in to join the inchoate mess of emotions when I saw Bella's tearing face. _Didn't I kill her? I killed her!_

"Huh? How-"

I placed my palm upon her cheeks, needing to feel her. Her tear-stained face was warm beneath my cool skin, even warmer than usual from the blood-rush due to her anxiety. _I didn't kill her…_

Then, I started to take in my surroundings. It was a mess everywhere. We were lying down at the foot of the couch; with me curled up into a tight ball against her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around me. Bella…She was sniffling. Her warm body was shaking with sobs. Then I got it. It was all a vision.

The most vivid and terrifying vision I ever had in my entire life.

I turned around to lie on her, wrapping my own arms around her waist, burying my head into her chest.

"I'm sorry love. I'm sorry for scaring you. I thought I ki-…I had a vision…I thought I… I saw myself killing you."

I dared not look up at her face. I feared what I would see there. Disgust? Rage? Fear? There was no questioning how dangerous I am to her. What I just saw in my head was a confirmation of what I am capable of doing to her.

Bella calmed slightly, her chest only slightly heaving as she tried to regain her composure.

"Alice, love; look at me."

I refused. Bella coaxed me gently at first. When that failed, she yelled in exasperation.

"ALICE! Stop acting like a total jerk and just lift your damn head up and look me in the face!"

She yanked my face up.

"Look at me." Her eyes were watery, her face tear-stained; but the look on her face was one of resolve, with a hint of frustration.

"I'm not dead. You didn't kill me."

"But…I saw… It almost happened- I almost lost control-"

"Yes, you _almost _did. But you _did not."_

"But-"

"Oh, quit your rambling." She leaned in and shut me up with a quick peck to my lips.

Then, she whacked my head hard.

"Ow! What's that for?"

"That's for scaring the daylights out of me. And for murduring my couch and coffee table."

I winced at her choice of words. Glancing up at the couch, I only see a shredded and ripped mass of leather and stuffing. And right next to us, her coffee table was in two.

"I'm so-"

"Did you know how freaking scared I was? One moment you were breathing so hard and looking so intensely at me, and the next you started tearing at your hair, screaming and trashing around _while sitting on me. _Then you fell off _onto my table_, then onto the floor and started screaming in a ball."

I stopped breathing. "Oh fuck. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

She looked slightly taken aback at my verbal etiquette (or lack of).

"No, you didn't. Not physically, at least. But you did hit me pretty hard emotionally and mentally."

"I'm sorry." Remorse was gnawing away at me. Suddenly, her embrace felt like it was scorching me. It felt wrong for me to be loved by her, when I could not even offer the security she needs like in a proper and normal relationship.

"Where do you think you are going, girl?" Bella spoke sharply and locked her arms firmly around my waist when I made to pull away.

"I think we should…we should stop- I'm not good enough for-"

"You think you are not good enough for me?"

I averted my eyes away from her furious gaze.

"Bullshit! Alice Cullen; you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Don't you ever dare to question that."

"You need someone better- someone who doesn't jump at your throat and threaten to suck your life out of you!"

"Oh yea? Where else am I supposed to find that someone? Alice, I told you. I've never been happier to meet you. And I've never been…hell, I'm out of vocabulary- _even more happier than I am now that _I HAVE YOU IN MY LIFE. Don't you dare walk out on me, _ever, _and destroy my life like that. Don't you dare question the position that you hold in my life."

Her eyes were hard all the while she was giving her speech. But her arms around my waist were soft and warm. Tears pooled in my eyes, threatening to fall. But we could not shed tears, not ever in eternity.

"You are…crying."

Astonishment was the right choice of vocabulary to describe my feelings. Bella's gaze soften, her voice almost one of wonderment. She lifted a finger up to my face to catch a teardrop that escaped the steely gates of my eyes. Then, another fell.

This time, Bella brought her head to meet mine, catching the tear with her warm lips.

I think…I have fallen in love all over again.


	14. Emotional Much?

_A.N. Exams coming up in two weeks. Was feeling rather stress, so decided to cut myself some slack for an hour to come on her and finish an unfinished chapter. Sigh. _

**Chapter 14: Emotional Much?  
**_BPOV  
-Year 2009, August 18th, Tuesday_

"…_I'm really sorry Bella; I'll see you soon."_

Right.

It has been three days since I have heard from Alice. Three bloody days. Ever since that unfortunate incident that took place on that Friday evening.

I didn't even get to see her yesterday at work because she did not show up. I probed Jessie about it, but she has no idea either. She assured me that it wasn't unusual for Alice to skip work for days; the bosses just let her be because of her "_awfully brilliant performance". _And her charms as well, I was sure. It was pretty much implied.

There was no questioning how absolutely annoyed I was with her. And that, my dear friend, was a huge understatement in itself. I was totally _livid. _Who the hell ignores the girlfriend's phone calls for three whole freaking days without even bothering to drop a message? The _freaking GIRLFRIEND._ I feel so damn pathetic to be reduced to asking Jessie for my girlfriend's whereabouts! That annoying woman's raised eyebrow and amused expression did nothing to make me feel better about myself too. Everything was just too damn frustrating at the moment.

Girlfriend, _girlfriend, GIRLFRIEND. _It seemed like I was desperately in need for some reassurance and affirmation. Okay, I have to admit. I did need that. Insecure much? I haven't been in a relationship for _eons. _Wait, was that little crazy boy-crush-initiated fling of six months in high school counted?

Slash that off.

I haven't been in a relationship _before._

So I couldn't exactly be blamed for being such a twitchy and insecure girlfriend, could I?

Now she has reduced me to pleading for leniency as I try desperately to justify my over-controlling behavior. Sigh. I feel like a real wimp.

That didn't make me feel any less pissed about the fact that ALICE BLOODY CULLEN ignored my damn text messages and phone calls. I didn't really care if I bust my phone bill for the month; I could just send the damn bill over to her. As some sort of compensation for all the emotional turmoil she put me through. Though I was not exactly happy with how she always liked to throw her money around as though it could solve any problem in this damn world.

_Actually, it can. _

I have to admit that I did found it sweet when she replaced my dead couch and coffee table on Saturday. I had quite the surprise when the delivery men came to my doorstep with a whole matching array of furniture to replace not only the broken ones, but every single piece of furniture in my living room. I was pretty much blown away by that. They were slightly shocked by the state of the shredded couch that I hastily put to be the masterpiece of a hyperactive pet cat. Even though it appeared to be more like the job of a tigress, relief was mine when they smartly decided not to probe any further. However, I have to say that I was deeply amused at how jumpy they were all the time at my apartment, as though afraid that the rogue cat would jump out and attack them any moment.

-Which was of course; quite impossible. My rogue cat did not even pick up my call when I called her to thank her. Though she did curtly replied to the message I sent afterwards. And that, really, was the last I heard from her.

I practically jabbed the phone dead dialing her number for the past few days. The last time I heard her lyrical voice after she left to hunt was her telling me over the phone that she has some family matters to deal to, and then saying that she would see me soon. I lost track of the number of times I have messaged her, practically begging her to reply me. Of course, my messages were not replied.

The weekend was practically hell. I was starting to feel like an obsessive, possessive and paranoid girlfriend, however much I hate feeling so. It would be handy having Jasper with me; if I ever want to risk having my blood sucked dry because I slip up and return to my usual klutzy self. It was not that I did not trust him; I didn't want him to do something that he would come to regret. At least when I visited their home, Alice was with me, and I was sure that she would not le-

Wait; _Alice. _

Some stupid, nagging thought in my brain told me that that was the key to her avoiding me. Blood.

Oh. Fuck the crimson red liquid in my body that made me such an irresistibly, tantalizing chunk of food to my girlfriend. I'm a little blood bag gift for vampires. Maybe I should just tie myself up in a blood-red ribbon as a present to her. She couldn't possible reject a gift, could she?

...

Great. Simply great. I feel like some PMS-ing woman on an emotional rampage. Sighing, I broodingly sank back on to my chair.

Perhaps I should take matters into my own hands.

…

If people knew of what I was about to do, they would have dismissed my sanity in mere seconds. Driving up the driveway of a family of vampires was not a thing that a normal person would do. I have to say that even I myself marvel at my action. Good job, Bella.

I decided not to call in; she would probably have seen my arrival in a vision the moment I made my decision. In fact, she should have already been expecting this the moment she decided to cut off all forms of communication with me. I doubt she would pick up the call even if I exercised the courtesy of calling.

Anyway, the loud rumbling and screeching of my Honda should have already pre-empt them on my arrival and given them ample time for preparation. It was as subtle an entrance as I could ask for. Though I would have liked to see Alice's expression if I suddenly appear in front of her without prior warning. Then again, there was her clairvoyance denying me that pleasure. And I wasn't exactly sleath-material.

I rumbled to a stop outside the house. It seemed relatively quiet, as though there was no one in there. I made my way smoothly up the porch to the front door. It seemed stupid to stand there, trying to gather my nerves when they would have already known of my arrival inside. I pressed the doorbell and listened to the light chimes within the house, feeling very much like an idiot.

A beaming Esme answered the door.

"Bella! What brings the pleasure of this visit?"

She embraced me warmly, and I awkwardly returned the gesture. I have suspicions on how much she knew about the situation between Alice and myself, but judging from her warm and unassuming smile, I guessed Alice had done a good job keeping her insecurities a secret.

"Hi Esme. Is Alice in?"

"Oh yes dear," the lady nodded with a knowing smile. "She's in her room."

Esme kindly led the way to Alice's room, seeing that it was only the second time I have been here. After a light knock, Esme opened the door. "Alice, Bella's here to see you."

Esme gave me one last smile before making her way back downstairs to give us some privacy.

Entering the room, the first thing that caught my eye was Alice sitting with her eyes close on her bed. She made no attempt to move, not even opened her eyes to acknowledge my presence. She was…meditating. Her rose-tinted lips were tightly clamped together. She wasn't even breathing.

I was so annoyed and irritated with the days of neglect that I wasted no time for words; I tackled her down onto her bed.

That was probably the stupidest decision I have ever made. It was like voluntarily throwing myself against a solid, brick wall.

But heck it.

I straddled her hips and crashed my lips onto hers.


	15. Brand of Guilt

_A.N. Hey there :) 13 days before the last day of my A's! _

Avarenda: _Yep, probably. But then again, it doesn't matter much, seeing that the venom needs to enter the bloodstream for it to take effect. Anyway, Edward and Bella did kissed in the book too! The saliva is venom too, isn't it? ;)_

**Chapter 15: Brand of...Guilt  
**_APOV  
-Year 2009, August 18th, Tuesday_

I barely had any warning. One m oment I was just sitting there with my eyes closed, trying to rid my mind of all thoughts; and the next I found something huge thrown at me. Of course, my natural reflex was to fall back and gripped my attacker hard. But the sudden onslaught of a certain sweet scent (thankfully) changed my mind. It was Bella.

Her eyes were dark with need as she straddled me. I immediately wrapped my arms around her warm waist to stabilize her as she perched upon my lap. She barely wasted any time, lunging at my lips the next moment.

I took in one last whiff of her sweet cinnamon smell before smartly deciding to hold my breath. Her lips molded perfectly into mine, silently coaxing me to let her in. I kept them shut, my hands locked around her waist to prevent myself from squeezing her too tightly.

It was long, slow and torturous. My mind was a total blank.

I slowly pushed her away by her shoulders.

"Bella, stop; please."

She pulled away with a look of confusion and hurt on her face. The look on her face was too much for me to bear. I looked away from her.

"_Why?"_

Her voice was barely a whisper.

"I can't-"

"But _I love you," _she choked out, her voice laced with pain. I heard Jasper choked and leap out of his window. I heard the rustle of the bushes as he dashed off into the forest. That was enough to tell me what Bella was feeling.

"I-I lov- I _like_ you too; but…I can't, Bella," I dared not look into her face. I did not want to see her pain. Her pain that was caused by me.

"_Why?"_

A warm drop of water fell onto my right arm. I need not look up to know that she was crying. And inside, I was as well. Venom rose in my throat, threatening to burn me. But I was not thirsty. It was the constricting, burning feeling that the humans called _heartache._

"_I think it's better if we…if we give each other some space for a while."_

Bella did not reply me. I did not even dare to look at her to see whether she heard my words. The feeling of her tear drops on my arm was burning me.

It was as though they were marking her hurt into me.

Branding the guilt into me like a hot iron.


	16. Sinnamon

_A.N. __Two papers left to win! I'm going to triumph over the A's! Muahaha_

_This chapter just gushed out. It's been ages since a chapter came to me so smoothly. Cheers! _

_Warning- Suggested rape. Coarse language. _

**Chapter 16: S-innamon **  
_APOV  
-Year 2009, August 29th, Saturday_

It has been two weeks since I last saw _her. _

_You sure?_

Okay, fine; twelve days.

_Really?_

Ah fuck. All right, it has been eleven days, twenty-two hours, thirty-seven minutes and seventeen seconds since I last saw her. Shut up, _mind. _

_I won't if you keep dancing with self-denial, my dear._

I would be lying to myself if I said I was feeling fine. I knew that. I have always wondered why people feel the insuppressible urge to ask that question when you very obviously are not looking _fine. _Oh, just leave me be. If I were feeling fine, I would not be sitting here at the place where we first kissed, with a stupid cup of latte in front of me, hoping that she would show up. All the while imagining her lips on mine.

Even the warmth radiating off from the latte failed to warm me up. I was trying to imagine _her _being in front of me, instead of this dumb cup of latte that did nothing to serve its purpose seeing that I didn't need it at all. The latte felt too hot; the smell of cinnamon too strong. I supposed I went a little overboard with the cinnamon sprinkles. I was just hoping to get a whiff of her scent. It did not work.

I returned yesterday from Paris from a winter fashion convention of which I had jumped up at the mention of and pitched myself headfirst into. It was my little key to escape for a while and an opportunity to clear my head. I left the very next day after her little visit that night. All ready to embrace my escapist tendencies, with a spice of drama and a leaf out of dear Edward's book.

It turned out that the trip did not change many things. Save for the few winter coats that caught my eye, I returned very much the same as when I left. I thought I would return with less baggage in my heard and more in hand, but I just have to drift off to think of her so often that it affected my shopping mood.

Fine, I can't deny the fact that I miss seeing her.

In fact, I hopped on board the first flight back the moment the convention wrapped up. The whole flight was bad enough, being alone in the plane with the overpowering smell of humans. Despite the fact that I was flying in the business class cabin, the smell was strong enough to make me gag. You would think that the smell would be less…intense. Apparently not.

I discreetly emptied my untouched cup of latte into the poor potted plant sitting next to me and left, pulling the hood on my new trench coat over my head as I went. I stood outside in the cool night air for a little while, gazing at the café with a stupid sentimental feeling in my heart.

If I were anyone but myself, I would definitely be the target of my own amusement for being like this. So much like that moody, broody brother of mine, Edward. He often hid in his emotional little shell; no one knew why. That would be Edward for you. He never talked about his problems, not even to me. No wait, there was Jasper. Being the empath of the family, Jasper was probably the one who knew Eddy boy best. I bet my car that Edward would have at least let Jasper in on some of his little moody problems. They should just get together already. But Edward's little insecurities always seemed to be in the way.

I came down here without my Chevy. The reason seemed too stupid to be mentioned. I did not want _her _to know that I had returned. I wanted to see how she was faring without me. I wanted to see if she really needed me as much as I needed her. Some part of me wanted to see her badly, to touch her badly; but a part of me was still afraid of seeing her. I did not want to see her reaction, her hurt, her pain, knowing that I have caused it all. Egoistic much. I would have given anything to not let her be in that state, but what she wanted was to be with _me. _

There, you have my dilemma.

Given the choice between her death and putting her through the heartbreak, I choose the latter.

Call me selfish, yes; but I really could not live on if she were to die. And if she were to die in my hands...

It was frustrating enough to not know what will happen in our relationship. My clairvoyance still has not returned to its usual, trusty self, and that was bugging me to no end. I have to admit that I rely on it a lot. And for it to be not with me…I felt crippled. Granted, I have been trying to rid myself of the barriers the past few weeks by meditating and clearing my head, but it did not worked. I thought that being away from _her _during the trip would help me tear down those stupid walls, but no.

Maybe I should be thankful for that. I really have no idea how I could handle everything if I keep getting visions of her when I was supposed to distant myself from her for her own good.

As I walked down the street in the direction towards home, I passed a dark alley. Out of my peripherals, I could see two figures in there. Probably a couple making out. Not an uncommon phenomenon seeing that the alley was right next to a pub. I did not pay much attention to them and just continued forward.

"C'mere lady," A male voice slurred. Clearly the man was not in the clearest state of mind. I wondered why people would even take a liking to beer. It was such an unrefined drink as compared to wine.

"Mmhmmm…"

I stopped in my tracks. The voice…

The drunken man grunted. It was just at that moment, I took an unnecessary breathe. The scent in the air woke the inner beast in me.

Bella.

I backtracked to the dark alley and stood at the entrance.

Right in front of me, Bella was pressed hard against the grimy wall of that dark alley. It was so dark that I had to take a few seconds before my eyes adjusted to the lack of light. And my first sight of Bella was definitely not the one that I had imagined or wanted it to be.

She was clearly drunk; dead-drunk. Either that or her drink was spiked. Despite that awful, puke-inducing smell of beer, I could still taste the faint hint of cinnamon that had alerted me to her presence. And the disgusting smell emanating of the man. The scent of his arousal.

He moaned. The vile sound rung hollowly in my ears. I stood there, stoned, feeling the anger boiling up in my stomach. Venom pooled in my mouth. He was rubbing himself against my Bella. _My Bella. _

Finally, my body decided that it had enough and kicked into action. My throat opened its doors and let out a snarl. The man jumped in shock, having just removed the barrier of his pants. He glanced blearily at me, with a look on his face that screamed sexual frustration and annoyance.

"Ya wanna join in man? Go git your own gal! I'ma tat busy here,"

I hoped I looked like his worst nightmare, because that was exactly how I was feeling. He was raping my _'gal'. _And I was going to get her back.

He began to fumble at his trousers again, all the time pressing and rubbing himself hard against Bella_. _Groping her. Just as he managed to free himself from his trousers with a dirty smirk, a second was all it took for me to be right next to him. I gave him barely enough time for the smirk to slide off before my fist made its first greeting with his face.

He hit the wall of the alley with a sickening _smack. _Bella crumpled to the ground without that foul man holding her up and grinding into her like a bloody dog. I bent down immediately.

"Bella? Honey, can you hear me?"

She could barely open her eyes at the sound of my whisper. Her shirt was ripped, but the man had not gotten to her pants yet. If he had…he would wish that he was not born.

I stood up and walked towards the foul heap on the floor. He groaned slightly and struggled to stand. When he saw that I was next to him, he scurried up with fear painted all over his face, stumbling slightly over his pants tangled around his knees.

"Plea-"

I punched him in the face again; hard enough to take him off balance, but not hard enough to kill him. He stumbled and crashed into the wall again, before tripping over his pants to smack himself head-first into the wall. The scent of his blood permeated the air, but it did not even affect me the least bit. He tried to make himself as small as possible, pushing his back as much as he could against the wall as I turned to face him. The hood covered my face in shadows, and it was dark enough to know that he would not be able to know who attacked him.

"Please, I'm sorry! Don't kill me!"

I stood over him, shaking furiously. It was taking a lot of self-control to reign in the beast that was going wild within me. But I was not going to taint my hands by taking his life.

He let out an ear-piercing scream and curled up like a baby after I aimed a hard kick at his offending member.

He should be thankful that I did not take a leaf out of Rose's book and rip it off.

I hurried back to Bella and took off my coat to wrap it around her. Then, I picked her up and jumped onto the roof of the three-storey building in one leap and dashed off towards home.

As I was hopping from roof to roof, Bella wrapped her arms weakly around my neck. I could hardly make out her faint whisper. My heart cracked just as her voice did.

"…Alice…"


	17. Recovery

**DA17: Recovery**

I have no idea what the heck happened. All I knew, or at least, _think _I knew was that I was lying down on…a surprisingly comfortable bed. My mind was strangely fuzzy. Not to mention that it hurt whenever I tried to move my head. There was this spot…that was…slightly…sore...painful to…move-

"_Bella?"_

My limbs felt weighed down with tons of rocks. It was as though someone was physically pinning me down onto the bed, even though subconsciously I knew that there was no one on me. My whole body was so sore that even _thinking _about moving hurt.

The soft material blanketing me helped though. I could feel the smooth caress of…cold satin, I think, against the exposed skin of my legs. I did not exactly know my fabrics well, not being all into fashion and such; but I have to say that it was therapeutic enough to distract me from my discomforts.

Talking about discomforts, my heart just took a hyperactive leap. Curiously enough, my heart…ached as well. It felt as though it was beating continuously against a…a void. And that hurt.

I…I felt like I wasn't making any sense. And that was probably the most sensible answer I had came up with in my state of confusion.

"_Bella?"_

That voice…No…It couldn't be…Alice? Alice…she left me…

Alice…Alice left. Yes…that probably explained the ache. And the ache…intensified when my thoughts drifted to my…the pixie.

"_Look, Alice, her fingers; they are twitching."_

"_Bella? Honey, can you hear me?"_

Alice…I tried to open my eyes. Eyelids quivering, I managed to pry them open about a quarter of an inch, only to be met by glaring sunlight. Closing them rapidly, a whimper escaped my throat.

"Bella? Bella!"

I heard the sudden swish of curtains closing. The light streaming through my eyelids was reduced significantly after that. Then, a cold hand slipped into mine, melding into my own like hands in gloves. It felt…so right.

"Bella, open your eyes please."

I listened to the anxious honey-smooth voice and slowly pried my eyelids apart. Blinking a few times slowly, a certain short-haired brunette came into focus. In the background, I heard Esme's voice, filled with relief, _"I'll give Carlisle a call to let him know that Bella's awake." _A sharp click announced her departure.

"Ali-" My pathetic attempt to speak was cut short by the persistent ache from the dryness in my throat. My voice rasped weakly and broke off into silence.

A worried frown surfaced on the face of the dainty pixie and she disappeared for a second; reappearing again with a cup of water. Gently, she edged me up into a half-sitting, half-lying position against a few cushy pillows which I recognized to be hers. Alice settled down beside me, her body a comfortable cooling patch to the burning ache lingering in mine.

"Come, drink some water."

Her right hand rubbed my lower back soothingly while her left brought the glass slowly to my lips. My throat eagerly welcomed the cooling and lubricating fluid.

Her golden eyes were speckled with drops of black, like oil in honey. Her hair was more of a mess than usual. I could get used to that. Nevertheless, she still carried the same scent, a cross between floral and musk. Her eyes met my gaze with a soft, loving look that eased my discomforts immediately. Just as I was about to speak, a loud bang resonated.

"Emmett Cullen, you idiot!"

The bear-like brother of hers ruffled his hair with a sheepish grin painted on his face. "Well, I'm so-"

"Not forgiven." The angry spit-fire of a vampire next to me shot him down. "Bella just woke up and you have to go around scaring her like that?"

"Aw, come on, Ali; she's fine! Just look at her!" The huge man winked in my direction and I responded with a strained smile.

Alice barely threw me a glance and jumped off the bed to confront him. With a finger jabbing his chest and another finger pointing towards me, Alice was sure intimidating for someone of her size. "She's not fine! She's shocked speechless! Wait till I let Rose know about this!"

I would have laughed out loud if I could, but my body was too sore to even more, let alone shake with laughter. A soft whine broke free when the soothing, therapeutic effects of my angry, escaped cool-pack wore off.

That effectively broke up the scene in front of me.

Alice was back by my side in a heartbeat, while Emmett struggled to contain himself, letting out a fake hack of a cough that sounded suspiciously like "whipped". In any case, if Alice did notice, she paid him no heed.

"You all right, hun?"

I gave a small nod of my head. "But I would be much better if my cooling pack decides to stay with me and not go bounding off to pick fights."

The petite woman frowned, a small crease delicately carved onto her marble-smooth face. I was tempted to smooth it out, if only I could just move my arm without grimacing from soreness. "Did you hit your head too hard?"

Emmett could not hold back anymore and burst out laughing in guffaws, which in turn made me choke in painful laughter as well.

Alice whipped around boiling with irritation and confusion before Emmett managed to gasp out in between his laughing fit, "She…meant you, sis! Cooling…pack; hahaha! Nice one, Bells!"

"Shut up, Em. I mean it when I said I will tell Rose about this." Speckled-golden eyes met mine again. A cool hand rubbed soothingly up and down my arm. "Better?"

My body relaxed into her familiar touch which I have missed. "I would be much better if you come into bed with me-" I shut my mouth immediately, realizing what I had said a little too late. Emmett got into another bout of laughter, clapping his hands gleefully. "Smooth, Bella! Real smooth!"

"Out, Emmett!"

The man stopped laughing and cringe under the menacing pixie's threatening glare. He slipped out immediately without a look back. Alice strode towards the door after he was gone and locked it securely before returning to my side.

Before she made the attempt to sidle into bed with me, I stopped her. "Are you sure? You look like you haven't hunt in ages; do you want to-"

"I'm fine and in control. Don't worry. You need me more now anyway."

I could distinctively feel my heart leap with the hope that things were going back to how they were once before. Alice slipped under the covers with me, taking care not to bump into me. Her smooth, cold skin grazed past mine, eliciting a small shiver from me. Instinctively, I leaned into her, welcoming her sinewy arms wrapping around my body.

"Better?"

"Yes..."

We laid there silently for a couple of minutes, reveling in each other's presence after separation for so long.

"Alice?"

"Hmm?"

"What happened?"

Her body tensed around mine in that instance.

"You don't remember?" Her voice was no longer honey-smooth, but contained a sharp edge to it.

"I could only recall brief flashes. I think I was at… a pub. I haven't… seen you in a while, and I just wanted to take my mind off things. Then I started to feel weird. I thought it was the blasting music and the stuffy atmosphere so-"

"-you went out for some fresh air." Alice finished my sentence with a distinct hint of displeasure.

* * *

Needless to say, Alice was not happy with the events that had happened after I left the pub. Not because of what I did, but what she had done. She was absolutely livid at herself for leaving town and me all "emotionally-weakened". I told her that it was not her fault (of course, I lied). It _was _her fault, but I could never hold any grudge against her. She could see that I was lying; anyone could, but she did not try and argue with me about that.

I almost puked in disgust upon hearing what happened to me in that dark, abandoned alley. She was reluctant in recounting it at first, not wanting to bring back horrible memories for me (and for herself). But of course, me being the stubborn mule around bugged it out of her. And Alice, being Alice, just could not hold it back when I pleaded. I just had to know. It made me feel much better knowing the details than not knowing. At least I was assured that nothing irreversible took place and that my chastity was still intact. I rather know than to spend the rest of my life in the dark, imagining things and blowing everything out of proportion with my overactive imagination. After the series of events was made known to me, I silently thanked the gods that Alice was there when I needed her. And for me not being able recall the exact details of the incident at all. It helped to make the emotional recovery phase much easier.

I could see that Alice struggled while retelling the story, and I felt a twinge of guilt for putting her through that. The fact that she almost lost me constantly plagued her, and she was not taking it lightly no matter how much reassurance I offered. Making her go through it again was another painful reminder that she had nearly lost me (in many possible different ways). All I could do to ease her agony was to tell her that I have forgiven her for what had happened. I could not say that I have never blamed her for leaving, but at least she came back. And she promised never to leave me like that again.

We spent the rest of the day in bed, just refreshing the memories of having our bodies in such close proximity. Alice kept her arms around me and her legs tangled in mine, as though afraid that I would slip away if contact was minimal. I didn't mind it that much, having missed the feel of her after she had left. We clung to each other firmly but gently, allowing our bodies to memorise the way we melt into each other.

Whatever may happen, we would deal with it. Together.


	18. Torn

_A.N. It's been long, guys. Apologies. Here's a short, but an intense one to get back into the mood of the story. I am hoping that coming back here, I will awaken the slumbering inspiration for my writing portfolio due in a couple of weeks for school. No promises, but Alice told me she could see updates in my near future. That is, if I make that decision. Enjoy, and let me know what you think. xx_

* * *

Dear diary,

I know it has been ages since I have spoken to you. I am trying everyday; really, I am. But I haven't been able to build up the courage to face you ever since that day. At least, not till now. The prospect of writing it all out scares me, as though everything will suddenly become real, brought to life by my own hands. Now that I am doing this, it feels to me as though I am bleeding fresh on to you, my old wounds reopened. This feeling, is the reason why I had taken so long to spill to you. But now that I have started, I can't stop. Well, there is no point really, in stopping.

I haven't been able to get close to her. I guess this really is the reason why I am still writing. I need to talk, and only you will listen. You are the only one who will not judge, will not run away, will not attempt to shove a mirror in front of me to force me into an understanding that I don't want to see. All right, I am rambling.

The thing is, it has been two weeks since I woke up after... horrible incident. I try not to think about it, but... I don't know how to explain it. The memories find me. And they have been taking a toll- they still are. I have taken a break off work since then, but tomorrow, I have to get back to the company. Assignments have piled up and I really don't want to test their patience, especially not when I am still a fresh face there. To be frank, I am not looking forward to going back. It will be a welcomed distraction, but it meant facing... the world. And I am not sure whether I am ready for that step yet.

Alice has been... sweet. All right, she has been really great, brilliant, understanding- a godsend. She understands that I need my space, but at the same time she knows when I am going into mopey-depressed-paranoid Bella and shows up to chase the demons away with her sparkly little vampric self. Right, so I am not feeling very comfortable with her at the moment. But who can blame me? She upped and left, happily prancing in spotlights and glitter while I bathe in alcohol and tears. Surely she doesn't expect me to be all snuggly and smoochies instantly. But...oh diary, just KILL me already. I do want her.

I am so torn, diary. My heart is afraid to get hurt again, my body remembers the near miss, though my thick brain, thank god for that, doesn't remember anything but the hazy veil of alcohol and a certain tiny knight-in-nightlights. She feels the pain, I know. I see it in her eyes every time she comes by to check on me with bagfuls of groceries hanging off her petite frame. They always betray her emotions; her golden gaze. I have offered her nothing in return but an empty shell. I can't even touch her, diary. I feel so unclean, so undeserving of her flawless body, her purity. My skin is scrubbed raw from the three baths I have daily. Or is it four? I can't really recall, not anymore. All I remember is sitting in the tub, immersing my whole being in water and prayers and hoping that by some weird magical trick I can draw all the filth out from inside me. Maybe I should seek help; but I know that I would not feel comfortable talking to a shrink. Or talking to anyone, really. I just don't think...I am up for it.

xx

* * *

"Esme?"

A gasp.

"Bella! How are you, my dear?"

"I...I need to talk. To someone. T-to...someone."

"Oh Bella; don't worry, I will be over in half an hour."

"Thanks..."

_Click._


	19. Regression

_A.N. I figure that since I have this chapter done and ready I might as well put it up and not prolong the agony. Leave a note and let me know what you guys think about the story! Would love feedback; and constructive criticism is always welcomed too. It's kind of disheartening to see that 300 people have read the new chapter but only two nice souls left reviews :(_

_But doesn't mean that I will deny you guys of a good read. (Or at least, I hope it is a good read.) Review nazi; that's just not me. :)_

_xx_

* * *

**BB16**

I shuffled awkwardly in front of the mirror. Scrutinising the woman I saw. The hair was too flat, too much like limp noodles. Face- slightly pasty, could do with more colour, or at the very least, a subtle flush so it would look less two-dimensional and more human. Figure... a bit on the scrappy scrawny side; boobs seemed slightly deflated, maybe a little bit too much limbs...

Fuck this shit.

Esme had come over last night full of motherly concern and love. The moment she saw me she pulled me into a cold embrace so lovingly that I burst into tears like a fountain. Tears of all that repressed emotions- love for Alice, sadness, guilt, pain; all that stuff. I felt bad too, that I was able to hug Esme so freely, but cringe at even the thought of being close to Alice.

Esme reminded me of her. And though it was a painful reminder, it was a safer alternative for that moment. I needed Alice. And Esme knew that. She held me with tenderness and soothing words. I could see in her eyes the concern and love she had for me; I knew I was safe.

I told her all that had happened after that day. Though it was more like all that had not happened. She was a dear, nodding as she took it in, never cutting in as I rambled in a teary nonsensical mess. She didn't flinch the slightest bit, not when I burst into fresh waves of tears or blew my nose like a child.

After my reservoir of words ran dry she just held me. Held me in silence and rocked me gently, a mother nursing child. And I let myself go, my inhibitions gone as I lose myself in her embrace and pretended, just for a moment, that it was Alice holding me. And she just held me.

I asked her afterwards, whether she hated me for putting Alice through all these. For bringing such unwanted drama into her family. She just smiled with her golden eyes, the same golden eyes Alice has, and hugged me tight. Then she said that she could never hate me.

"You have brought joy to my daughter, dear Bella. And I can never despise you for that."

Her words brought forth another wave of tears. I felt like a villain then, for messing up, for hurting her. But Esme stopped me and pulled me out of the self-punishing world I fell into.

"You didn't ruin anything, Bella. Life just happened; who can blame you? Life is all about emotions. You live; you feel. You have been hurt; you retreat. It is understandable. Alice still loves you, I know, and she will always be waiting for the day you are ready to accept her again."

So all was nice and well, save for the dying sniffs and sniffles I had when I saw Esme to the door, I was ready to face Life again. But now, looking into the mirror, I wonder whether she would accept what she would soon see.

The doorbell sounded. I stiffened up. With a last gaze at the Bella in the mirror, I walked out of the room.

Alice was beautiful, as always. She was in a simple outfit- white top, black silky jacket with a pair of grey denim jeans. But it was her eyes that captured me.

"Mornin'."

She smiled in response.

"Let me just grab my bag and I'll be with you."

I hurried into the living room where my backpack sat waiting. But I didn't hurry back. I stood by the couch, staring at the picture in a gilt silver frame that was sitting on top of the coffee table. The two of us were laughing in the backyard of her family home, sitting on the grass on that particularly warm day, bodies touching. Esme had taken that shot when we were both unaware, and I remembered being really impressed at her photography skills, before letting my mouth drop open in shock after learning that she actually had the first model of the Kodak camera which came out in 1934.

"Bella?"

Her honeyed voice jolted me out of the memory, and I remembered Esme's encouraging smile from yesterday. I know I can do this.

"Oh, sorry; I'm coming."

The drive to work was a silent, but not an awkward one. Alice didn't press for a conversation, and neither did I offer one. We just sat in her yellow Porsche, with me appreciating the silent rumble of the powerful machine and the sight of her, so at ease with herself.

We pulled into her usual parking lot. She cut the engine, but neither of us made any move to get out of the car. Her petite hands sat on the wheel, and I silently marvelled at the slender curves and clean angles of her hands, knowing the power concealed within them. To create; to destroy. She had an easy smile on her face, flexing her fingers on the steering wheel, her chest rising and falling with habitual grace. I knew she was waiting for me to speak.

"Alice?"

She shifted slightly in her seat to face me. Her eyes meeting mine, she nodded to show that she was listening.

"I know I haven't been the same since... and I know you are not having an easier time than me. I just want to... thank you for your patience with me and that... I really like you and I will not stop trying to be better... for you. Please believe me, and don't give up on me."

I hoped she didn't notice the regression in my emotional attachment to her, but I knew she would anyway with her memory. And deep inside I was anxious for her to understand that I could not just say those three words again as easily as before. Our relationship has been brought up to a whole new level now, transcending words.

Her eyes seemed moist, and I looked away to give her her space, though I knew she would not be able to shed a single tear.

"I will never ever give up on you, my darling. You know how I feel for you, and it will never change. Bella, you don't have to do this alone."

I could not keep my own tears in as she could. I raised my head to look back into her eyes, and the emotion I saw in them overwhelmed me. My tears fell, and a single drop splashed down on her arm, which was stopped in midair, tentatively reaching towards me.

Her gaze had followed that single drop down, and she smiled softly at the broken drop now marring her perfect skin. Looking back into my eyes, she silently asked for permission. I closed my eyes, hoping that my eyelids would serve as a dam for more unwanted waves of emotions.

I felt her cool skin against my cheeks. She traced the tracks of the tears with her tentative touch, before brushing them away with a smudge of her thumbs. And as though by some miraculous magic of her touch, I knew deep down that she was closing in. And I made no attempt to stop the kiss.

It was a gentle peck on the lips. A kiss of giving, whole-hearted giving expecting nothing in return. A kiss of assurance.

She pulled away. The air was suddenly hot in the absence of her touch. I opened my eyes to see her golden ones looking back. And in that moment, I knew. I knew that she has given me her all.


End file.
